Obama himself riffed on Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, and Ted Cruz.
But the real kicker was when he took on Donald Trump.
Read on for some of Obama and Wilmores biggest zingers from C-SPANs broadcast.
Credit: Olivier Douliery-Pool/Getty Images
You all look great.
The end of the republic has never looked better.
If this material works well, Im gonna use it at Goldman Sachs next year.
Earn me some serious Tubmans.
My brilliant and beautiful wife Michelle is here tonight.
She looks so happy to be here.
Its like learning to do three-minute planks.
And its anyones guess who she will be.
Eight years ago, I said it was time to change the tone of our politics.
In hindsight, I clearly should have been more specific.
Eight years ago, I was a young man full of idealism, and vigor.
Hillary once questioned if Id be ready for a 3 a.m. phone call.
Now Im awake anyway because Ive gotta go to the bathroom.
Meanwhile, Michelle has not aged a day.
The only way you’ve got the option to date her in photos is by looking at me.
I think weve got Republican senators Tim Scott and Cory Gardner.
Theyre in the house.
Which reminds me: Security, bar the doors.
Were gonna do this right here, right now!
Its likeThe Red Wedding[onGame of Thrones].
Even some foreign leaders have been looking ahead, anticipating my departure.
Last week, Prince George showed up to our meeting in his bathrobe.
That was a slap in the face.
A clear breach of protocol.
Just in case anybody is still debating whether Im black enough, I think that settles the debate.
The last time I was this high, I was trying to decide on my major.
I love Joe Biden.
And I want to thank him for his friendship, for his counsel.
For always giving it to me straight.
For not shooting anybody in the face.
Thank you, Joe.
Kendall Jenner is also here.
We had a chance to meet her backstage.
Im a little hurt that [Donald Trump isnt] here tonight.
We had so much fun the last time.
And it is surprising.
Youve got a room full of reporters, cameras, celebrities.
And he says no.
Is this dinner too tacky for the Donald?
What could he possibly be doing instead?
Is he at home?
Eating a Trump Steak?
Tweeting out insults to Angela Merkel?
What is he doing?
Bernie, you look like a million bucks.
Or to put it in terms youll understand, you look like 37,000 donations of $27 each.
Then theres Ted Cruz.
Ted had a tough week.
He went to Indiana, Hoosier country, and called the basketball hoop a basketball ring.
What else is in his lexicon?
Sure, Im the foreign one.
Dear America, did you get my poke?
Is it appearing on your wall?
Im not sure Im using this right.
Love, Aunt Hillary.
Hillary Clinton was flustered when a Black Lives Matter protestor challenged her.
I havent seen a white lady that upset over being blindsided by a black person since Kelly Ripa.
Morning Joehas their head so far up Donald Trumps ass, they bumped into Chris Christie.
We are very scared by that.
[President Obamas] hair is so white it tried to punch me at a Trump rally.
His hair is so white it keeps saying, All lives matter.
You came in looking like Denzel Washington.
You are going out looking like Grady fromSanford and Son.
Guys, I am not surprised Donald Trump is happening to America because I watch movies.
And every time theres a black president something always comes to destroy the earth.
Ted Cruz has vowed to stay in the race.
Man, everybody hates Ted Cruz.
Simpson said, That guy is just hard to like.'
[Michelle Obama is] the epitome of grace, class, and poise.
Donald Trump said that if Hillary Clinton was a man, she wouldnt get five percent of the vote.
Donald Trump is going to give a shot to be more presidential.
I dont know when were getting a black president again.
I mean, theyre not even going to let Morgan Freeman play the president in movies for a while.
I think Fox [News] secretly likes Beyonce, though.
They just renamedThe Kelly File…Becky with the Good Hair.
