Set your DVRs and alarms: below are the highlights for the next seven days.

argue with their moms.

Stars: Theyre just like us!

Image

Credit: David Giesbrecht/Netflix; Nick Briggs/PBS; Jack Rowand/ABC

Just kidding, I know you know what weed means.

Ink Master (Spike TV, 10 p.m.)

Think of it asBlindspot: Reality TV Edition.

Thursday, March 3

The Family (ABC, 9 p.m.)

Joan Allen has secrets!

And so does Andrew McCarthy!

And Matt Saracen Zach Gilford!

Late Night Snack (TruTV, 11 p.m.)

This ones an anthology of short-form comedy segments.

If Ryan Murphy made it, itd be calledAmerican Late Night Snack Story.

Say Yes to the Dress (TLC, 9 p.m.)

BecauseSay No to the Bowwouldnt have made sense!

The Last Man on Earth (Fox, 9:30 p.m.)

Tandys life is friggin dandy.

Just joshin, of course it isnt!

Quantico (ABC, 10 p.m.)

Sexy secrets and secretive sex return!

Along with some henleys, of course.