Beyonce, social media, and the ghosts of 2009
Beyonce happened, finally.
Flames projected onto her, and she became a movie screen.
Was the fire inside of her, or all around her?
Credit: Larry Busacca/MTV1617/Getty Images
Was she impervious, untouched by the flames or consumed by them?
Her face offered nothing obvious.
Beyonce doesnt overshare, which is why we like her so much more than we like ourselves.
Another percussive shot, and two more women fell.
Was this the emotional violence at the core ofLemonade, apocalyptic heartbreak made manifest?
Political, or personal?
Beyonce walked through a fog, fell backward, rose again.
She narrated, the part about menses.
The lights went down and the lights went up.
She was in black now.
she said, prologue complete at the four-minute mark, just getting started.
Yall havin a good time?
We were, finally.
Sure, whatever: The pointlessness of the VMAs is the point of the VMAs.
(Nobody really thinks the awards matter, except one-hit wonders and Kanye West.)
Answering the call of duty, Beyonce transposedLemonadeinto a lengthy medley when she took the stage.
It lasted 15 minutes, and it is impossible to pick just one perfect moment.
Shes alone onstage, dancing amidst fireworks and smoke, the camera circling her.
She doesnt break eye contact with the camera as it moves.
It doesnt feel like we are watching her; it feels like we are helpless to escape her.
The VMAs have never not been a mess, but something has changed in the last few years.
Blame social media, or blame executives who think you wont tweet unless someone tells you to tweet.
Somehow, the VMAs have become relentlessly self-aware, navel-gazing.
In lieu of a single host, the 2016 VMAs opted for a cacophony of in-world commentary.
Keegan-Michael Key and Jordan Peele played Lizard Sheeple and The Shamester, influencer grotesqueries desperate for a likable gag.
Cut to Jay Pharoah, reheating every impression that was funny the first 50 times.
Cut to Nicole Byer, backstage at the VMAs, yelling things like Im backstage at the VMAs!
Pharaoh asked Khaled just what the hell he actually does, which is all anyone wants to ask Khaled.
Khaled said the words Saturday Night Live, which is all anyone wants to say to Jay Pharaoh.
Their conversation eclipsed into vapor, a moment without an actual moment.
There were people who transcended, but only because they barely seemed to be participating.
Alicia Keys went onstage, sans makeup, and spoke-sang a poem in honor of Martin Luther King.
The nominees for Best Male Video are!
Jordan Peele had all the best lines.
After Beyonces performance was finished, Key and Peele were suddenly onscreen, speechless.
Why would you cut to us while shes still onstage?
Peele asked, no longer even trying to play whatever his character was.
But @LizardSheeple and @TheShamester were a weird filter over this years VMAs.
No one involved seemed to know what was being satirized.
Later, Key declared that he was trying to knock down famous people because Im empty inside!
What does it mean, though, to be famous at the VMAs?
Serena Williams introduced my friend, Beyonce.
Tracee Ellis Ross introduced my friend, Rihanna.
Troye Sivan and Alessia Cara introduced our friends, the Chainsmokers, with special guest Halsey.
The networkshouldappeal to people half my age.
Really, the biggest problem with this years VMAs was that it wasnt shamelessly hipenough.
It was backward-thinking, not forward-looking.
Long-gone storylines were reheated, like cast members returning for a pointless final-season farewell.
The change started in 2007, when Britney Spears stumbled through a performance of Gimme More.
The rest isnt even history, because we have not yet moved on yet.
He gave a shoutout to Amber Rose, who was one of Kanyes two dates at the 2009 VMAs.
(The other date wasa bottle of Hennessy, gradually emptying while Kanye walked the red carpet.)
The show gave Kanye West the floor for several minutes; it was endlessly fascinating, but also endless.
We are the thought leaders!
Kanye didnt perform anything live, which is a bummer.
Like, fame, yknow?
isnt an idea but, crucially, that seems to be the only idea the VMAs really have.
Britney played second fiddle to the featured rapper G-Eazy; the camera kept cutting wide, as if embarrassed.
The Britney moment was that, for me.
(They say New York is the city that never sleeps.
Thank god for 24-hour diners!)
But the problem with the modern VMAs isnt that theyre a hastily-assembled monstrous mess.
The problem is how overly architected that mess has become.
The web link feels torn, desperate for SnapChat relevance but also anxious enough to make jokes about SnapChat.
The VMAs want to have their cake and tweet it, too.
The night belonged to Beyonce.
I wonder what Rihanna thinks about that.
There are pop stars who try too hard to look like they arent trying hard.
Its Rihanna: Young and kind of smiling.
I worry for the VMAs, truthfully.
If this keeps up, the show will never be revenant again.
Beyonce:A
Everything Else:C
Average:B
