(Oh, and he also stole $100,000 of his familys money to get him there.)
Chapter 1
I would have killed to go to Princeton.
They were all great schools, and I would have been happy to attend any one of them.
Or at least I would have until I met Claire.
Pop Quiz: Did you know F. Scott Fitzgerald went to Princeton?
And presidents Woodrow Wilson and Grover Cleveland?
If college was a superhero, Princeton would be Batman.
(Sorry, Superman.)
If prestige were a sporting event, Princeton would be the Super Bowl.
And Id taken no chances on getting in.
In other words, Id done everything humanly possible to get into Princeton.
But heres the thing about applying to a major university.
Which in the case of early decision applicants like me, meant one-and-a-half months of pure, undiluted torture.
My only solace was that I was not alone.
The answer was always No, and by Thanksgiving we were twenty-two sleep-deprived zombies.
Finally, on December fourteenth, the letters began arriving.
There were tears and cheers, hugs and high fives, wishes granted and dreams shattered.
But the one thing that didnt arrive wasmyacceptance letter.
It was excruciating, and I spent countless hours searching for meaning in my predicament.
Was my letters tardiness a good thing or bad?
Did this improve my odds or decimate them?
I had no idea.
I looked up, and Mrs. Daulton was holding something in her hand.
It was white and thin and looked like a letter from a major university.
Are you going to open it?
I guess I better.
I tore off the side of the envelope, and the first word I saw was Congratulations.
I knew you could do it, Mrs. Daulton said with a smile.
I jammed the letter in my backpack and floated out of the mail room on a cloud of victory.
All my time, hard work, and anxiety had paid off.
Chapter 2
I couldnt wait to call Claire and tell her the news.
Or at least I would be if Claire completed her program.
Not that she had anything to worry about.
Still, legacy or not, all applications had to be postmarked by January first.
God, she was beautiful.
What she was doing with a scholarship student like me, I had no idea.
But I wasnt complaining.
Well, except for her not finishing her essay.
Instead, they loaded up their Mercedes and drove off without so much as a glance in my direction.
Then I did and froze.
But someonewasinside, and I looked around for a weapon.
My only options were a pizza box and an old brass fire extinguisher.
I looked up, and Uncle Wonderful was standing over me with my lacrosse stick in his hands.
he asked, pressing the business end of the stick against my throat.
Its a lacrosse stick, I sputtered.
Some fancy new game rich kids play?
Lacrosse is actually the oldest team sport played in America.
The Plains Indians invented it to prepare for battle.
Uncle Wonderful looked at the stick with newfound respect.
But enough of a history lesson, I said.
What are you doing here?
I shook my head.
This is my home now.
Your mother wants me to bring you back, so Im bringing you back.
Why didnt she come herself?
Because shes in Shady Oaks.
A retirement home for convicted felons?
No, smart guy, its a mental institution.
Your mother tried to kill herself last week.
