An anniversary, an engagement, and a death just another day in Mystic Falls.
Thanks goodness for the “previously on.”
Oh, and Caroline is carrying Gemini twins in her vampire womb.
Credit: Annette Brown/The CW
Lily is awake in bed with Julian beside her.
It seems like the thought of him lying inches away from her makes her skin crawl.
But he’s blissfully unaware of this or the plot to destroy him.
He’s too busy planning a party for Mary Louise and Nora’s 134th anniversary.
She heads to the nearest abandoned bookshop to find an anniversary gift for the guests of honor.
Enzo recites the lines for memory to Lily and then makes out with her.
What would future Bonnie say!?
They are “friends, food, whatever you want them to be.”
Lily arrives and is not a happy camper.
“Sounds like a page out of Rippers Anonymous.”
(c’mon let this be a real thing inTVDworld!)
They go on to have a very awful mother-son chat.
She slaps him and wants to know how he can be so cavalier about his own mother’s life.
It’s simple: She’s already dead to him.
But seriously, look at this:
Mary Louise has Nora meet her out by the water.
Because, see, she has to tell them about theworstmoment of her life.
Way to bring down the mood, Valerie.
She gathers the two of them and Beau to tell them the truth about Julian and her baby.
None of them want to hear it, but it helps that Lily is there backing her up.
Beau walks up to Valerie and hugs her, Nora follows, and Mary Lou begrudgingly does as well.
news from his new boo, Caroline.
With Damon’s help, he’s able to torture Julian enough to get him tied up.
Nora’s so upset that Julian could manipulate her that way that she gives back the ring.
And now the roles are reversed: Julian has tied up Damon and Valerie.
When Lily walks in, Julian tells her she gets to pick which child of hers lives.
She can either be a Salvatore or be “one of us,” but not both.
And then he hands her a stake.
What the hell, Donovan?
But let’s get back to Lily’s Sophie’s Choice.
She loves both Valerie and Damon.
She tells Valerie she’s sorry she didn’t see what was going on.
She asks Damon to forgive her.
Then she turns to Julian and says she can choose them both.
She holds the stake up and stabs herself to make it kill him along with herself.
Mary Louise already unlinked them, so as Lily dies, Julian can and does run off unscathed.
Stefan tells him to say goodbye.
So the eldest Salvatore walks over to his mother and says, “You made your bed.
Have a nice nap.”
Lily is there trying to help him, but he’s been poisoned with werewolf toxin.
There’s no hope of saving him, but he says it’s okay.
But Lily isn’t back from the dead.
Damon didn’t get to apologize to his mother.
He’s just hallucinating from the werewolf toxin.
Lily’s face blurs away, and we can’t make out this woman who has Damon trapped.
But whoever this HBIC is, she kicks him in the face.
See you all back here next week, when we apparently will be talking about dead Santas?
What is this crazy show?
