So that’s how you make a heretic (and a baby)!
A heretic origin story!
A drunk, partying heretic!
Credit: Quantrell Colbert/The CW
This episode had it all!
But the biggest reveal of the episode was meeting our (likely) new Big Bad: Julian.
We first meet Julian in a flashback to 1863.
Before leaving with him, Lily wanted to ensure her boys were safe.
So she sent Valerie to check on Stefan and Oscar to check on Damon.
Both were merely witches at the time, so they couldnt compel Lilys sons to do what they want.
Thats right at the 1863 Mystic Falls County Fair, we see human Stefan lose his virginity.
Hes so smitten with Valerie that afterward he takes her to visit his mothers grave (so romantic).
He, as we know, thought she died there.
The conversation ends abruptly because Julian arrives to pull her away.
Valerie whispers to Stefan that shell find a way back to him.
So its kind of likeThe Notebook, except you two never reconnect and he totally forgets about you?
says a still-captive Caroline when present-day Valerie tells her side of the story.
It must be awful for Valerie not to get any cultural references past 1903.
But that doesnt stop her from rubbing it in Carolines face: Thats not the end of the story.
She sent Stefan a telegraph saying she would meet him.
Stefan waited and waited and waited, but Valerie never showed.
Valerie tells Caroline, There was a change of plan and stops telling her story.
Valerie didnt want to go, but Julian knew if she didnt go, Lily wouldnt go.
He beat her so hard that he killed the unborn Salvatore baby that was growing inside her.
WHAT!?!?!
but his eyes say yes.
She says that she used to visit that bench in her 1903 prison world.
She tells the heartbreaking story of how Julian told Lily he found her robbed and beaten.
She took some medicine and drowned herself in a bathtub aboard the ship to England.
And that ladies and gentleman is how you make a heretic.
Valerie was the first of her kind.
Shes telling him all of this, but hes not hearing it.
Its such a touching moment… Is it okay to like Valerie?
Her story is tragic, and I just want someone to hug her.
Damons plan is to make a trade with Lily: Elenas coffin for Oscars body.
Bonnie hopes Oscar can siphon away the skin X visions shes having.
And Alaric is just along for backup.
But Oscar doesnt really need capturing.
Hes a lovable party boy who knows exactly who Damon is and he invites the whole gang right in.
So they start with the easy part first: Bonnies visions.
Only problem is when he agrees and does it, he immediately says, Wheres the Phoenix Stone?
and telepathically knocks all three of them out.
Shes furious, but Ric pulls out that puppy dog face that will make you say yes to anything.
Aww, my besties are buds-ies, says Damon in my favorite line of the night.
I do not like where this is going, yall.
But he finally understands: She grieved her own family and moved on to another.
And he has, too… as he glances over at Bon-Bon and Ric.
(Aww, you guys!!)
But then hes back to business: Give me Elena, you get your son back.
Slight hiccup: Valerie finds Oscar with a tracking spell.
Goodbye, my favorite heretic.
