#Loyals, lets get into it, shall we?
The only thing worse than Jaspers fake American accent is Liams fake American accent.
(Its really, really bad.)
Credit: E!
But the intrigue doesnt end there.
Liam confronts Cyrus about the lie.
Youre lying in some tub, like Michael Jackson.
But Cyrus responds with an explosive reveal: He has testicular cancer and offers up a convincing alibi.
I was getting treatment the night my brother died, he tells Liam.
He warns Liam that he doesnt want anyone to know about his diagnosis because people are such dicks.
Takes one to know one, Cyrus.
That is, actual connecting.
(No sex.)
For the record, that wasnt Eleanors choice…which means Beck is a bit of a gentleman.
I like the sound of that, so consider me on board for this relationship.
She should have known, ever since Monaco, he tells Eleanor.
Its always been you.
He drops some impressive-sounding terms like security and surveillance and convinces Liam its a good idea.
(Cause nothing says romantic reunion like a boat party where theres sure to be lots of coke.)
NEXT: Shine bright like a diamond
Anyway, remember last week, when we met Pryces wife?
Although we didnt see her again this episode, we met another new character: Eleanors head of security.
But hes funny, and hes #TeamSimon, so Eleanor vows to give it a shot.
Helena reminds him its cursed of course it is!
but nothing can get in the way of Cyrus love of accessories.
Cyrus is as WTF about it as I am.
Its ceremonial; I hate ceremony.
But now that you mention it, I know just the hostage.
Cyrus is just so considerate like that.
Dom Perignon for everyone!
And by everyone, I mean everyone except for Jasper.
Meanwhile, Beck introduces himself to Jasper.
And make no mistake, Jaspers not letting anyone especially not some upper-crust ex-boyfriend intimidate him.
I was with her for six months, right up until Monaco, he tells Beck.
Ooh, the shade!
And yup, you guessed it hes wearing the queens knickers.
Her response is spot on.
Its up to her and Rachel to cover up the evidence i.e.
Time to check on Cyrus daughters, whove been noticeably inconspicuous during their dads reign.
Youve been retracing dads steps ever since the day dad died, Eleanor counsels Liam.
Find that thing that made you happy.
I guess that means he has to get off the boat?
He tells Jasper hell be in touch but not before giving him some advice.
Everyone lets her down.
Be the one that changes that.
This monument is about memorializing your fathers relationship with his kingdom, says Helena.
Eleanors understandably concerned about doing things for show but enough of these one-off interactions!
Give us a real mother-daughter moment; theyre so utterly touching and juicy.
Back in the bedroom, Beck asks Eleanor about the red graffiti on her walls.
This brings up the subject of her dad or, as she puts it, her supposed father.
Sadness = time for a shot, which Becks begs her not to take.
Im the acting prime minister.
I dont have time for tea with the queen, and I certainly dont have time to repeat myself.
Another HBIC in town?
Could the cancer have spread?
And could a worsened diagnosis been triggered by the cursed diamond?
Lizs best lines:
Youre easy to spot.
I can see your panty line.
You do understand we dont kill people around here.
