That was just a lead-up to this latest trip to the Hamptons, which was full of shade.Sooooomuch shade.
Like Yellowstone levels of shade.
Is that a piece of art?
Credit: Bravo
Is that memorabilia fromBatman Returns?
Like, I need a backstory.
Carole is not psyched.
Then theres a few cutaways to this weird angle from inside Bethennys house.
Its honestly a little slasher movie-esque.
Like someone was filming them from behind the staircase.
I sorta expected Bethennys BBQ to end in bloodshed.
But it was just emotional carnage.
So all the gals, except for Sonja weirdly, show up to Bethennys party.
Theres also an odd assortment of cowboy hats.
I dont know why so many people, including Ramona, are wearing cowboy hats.
Do they think theyre out West?
Are they riding horses to this BBQ?
Ramona announces early that she cant stay because its date night.
Shes attending some sort of black tie event back in the city.
Im assuming she will bring along the cowboy hat.
Meanwhile, Bethenny is dressed like a construction worker but like a fancy one.
Its all very Fifth Harmony/Work from Home.
So the entire party basically is people avoiding one another.
Not on my watch.
Your title is revoked if you hula hoop on a reality show after the age of 40.
Carole has zero time for Luann.
They have a meet-up at the fire pit while roasting smores.
Yep, this really happened.
But Carole feels too burned by Luann.
The Countess is just like, Be cool, man.
Luann trying to be a hipster and relaxed makes me as uncomfortable as seeing pets in sweaters.
But the big stand off was between Bethenny and John.
She just pretended he was there while she offered up Moscow mules and spiked hot chocolate.
Or she hid in her toolshed bar.
Finally, she decided to confront John because Dorinda was clearly even more upset by the whole thing.
It did not go well.
First of all, John did not seem apologetic.
Second, Bethenny did not seem at all ready to accept his apology.
It basically ended up with a stalemate.
Dorinda then started crying inside the shed bar.
Oh, and during most of this Jules was MIA because she was peeing in all of Bethennys bathrooms.
Yes, that really happened.
The next day professional urinator Jules throws a brunch for all the ladies at their massive home.
Bethenny clearly seems to have a rage hangover from the worst party ever.
Bethenny is also not impressed with the fact that the house is under construction.
She even has flashbacks to Alex and Simons house.
Hahhaha season 1 Bethenny.
Also, where are Simon and Alex?
I feel like I read they were living in like Abu Dhabi or something.
You are never going to be able to sell this!
Hey, can you pass the low-fat schmear?
Okay, the last part didnt happen, but thats basically how it went.
Are people not noticing these conversations?
Theyre happening like 2 feet in front of them.
Is there some sort of sound vacuum in that giant house?
Also, why is there no furniture?
They decided to leave but not before checking out the indoor pool.
They then basically ghosted.
Like they completely snuck out without saying goodbye to anyone.
But, to be fair, Jules was probably peeing.
