Im not kidding, you guys those are real-ass topics that were briefly touched upon in this fake-ass show.

And do you want to know why?

Cant they see the freedom of the sea is no place for them!

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Credit: Bravo

If its not a boob flying out, then its a drink flying in someones face.

Its true, making friends in adulthood is a challenge.

She cries and says shes lost herself without even realizing it.

This supposed FaceTime plan with Dukey absolutely never existed.

(Oh, did I not mention that Porshas nickname for Duke is Dukey?

Say that one out loud and then ask me again why this relationship might not have worked out.)

Also, Kenya walks down a sidewalk-less highway to Sherees house in the name of a story line.

Shamea seems completely unfazed.

Perhaps she could give Kandi some lessons on playing it cool in awkward situations, then.

Dont you just know that being on any sports team with Tammys son was a nightmare?

She also captions the interaction perfectly in her confessional: Da fuq?

So, my goodwill for Porsha is at an all-time high when the episodes final shenanigans go down.

and that shes kicking Shamea off the boat.

Kim somehow ends up being tasked with taking Cynthia away with promises of, Ill read to you!

Ill read to you!