It’s Robby vs. Jordan in the race for JoJo’s heart.
And the winner is…
Yet, somehow, weve made it.
Credit: ABC/Matt Klitscher
We watched Wells struggle to overcome his awkwardness, and we listened to every eh Daniel gave us.
All I can think is thank God no one from her family saw/heard that.
The moment mom sees Jordan, shes INTO it.
(Im half-convinced that second hug actually served as a tackle to get him on the couch.)
In what I can only describe as a missed opportunity, we dont get to see the brothers hats.
But we do get mom telling Jordan, a bit too enthusiastically, Insult me!
(Did we just learn way too much about mom?)
Pulling Jordan aside, mom wants some answers.
But I think it works?
She thinks her moms being paranoid.
Mom, thinking Jordan is the life of the party, asks JoJo, Who doesnt like Jordan?
(Somewhere, Aaron Rodgers is raising his hand.)
Elsewhere, Jordan is talking to dad and telling him he looks forward to proving himself.
Just like that, we get no brother action.
I mean, these guys found a way to have a problem with Ben, whos literally the nicest.
Youre going to tell me they just liked Jordan, no questions asked?!
I dont believe it for a second.
Walking Jordan out, JoJo yells after him that It went so good!
before moving to her next introduction.
NEXT: Robby meets the family… Getting straight into it, mom asks Robby, What is it about my baby girl that you like?
Robby, always sharp as a pillow, responds that JoJo is both smart and intelligent.
Hey, did you guys know Robby told JoJo he loved her in Uruguay?
Well, her family now does, in what can only be described as excruciating detail.
Also, has JoJo always had a sister?
Sitting down to talk to her freakishly nice brothers seriously, who sedated them?
JoJo asks for their thoughts.
Basically, they like Robby but they also dont hate Jordan.
Super helpful, right?
As Robby sits down with mom, he tells her JoJo will be the biggest priority in his life.
Talking to both parents, Robby asks Dr. Fletcher and mom too for Joelle Hannah Fletchers hand in marriage.
Actually no, he doesnt just want her hand.
He wants to care for her and love FOR her for her entire life.
Finishing up what sounds like a prayer, he finally stops talking.
An emotional dad then finds JoJo and makes her feel like she should choose Robby.
This should be it, JoJo says, but shes not ready to make a decision just yet.
But JoJo claims its not that simple.
Thanks, Captain Obvious.
Then again, he just asked if she was ready for this before taking his shirt off.
And believe it or not, that didnt give JoJo the clarity she needs.
JoJo and Robby spend their day frolicking in the water, which somehow doesnt mess up his hair.
Seriously, does it dry that way?
Yes, because small children are known for their faint noises.
His definition of reassurance?
Telling her that even if hes out playing golf with his friends, hell be blowing her phone up.
Remember that joke I made about Robby being a Stage 5 Clinger in-the-making?
You mean one more photo… Yeah, clearly shes not disappointed in that gift.
Leaving Robby, JoJo knows she could accept his proposal with full confidence.
But is that enough?
But he swears hes ready.
So thats not confusing.
Also, news flash, buddy: Kneeling is pretty literally up to you.
Only you are in control of your body.
Thats all Jordan can say literally so JoJo calls it a night.
NEXT: And JoJo picks… And while Robby writes JoJo one final note is this a thing now?
Jordan uses this miracle machine known as a phone to call her parents and ask for their blessing.
Not surprisingly, mom nearly cuts Jordan off to yell Yes!
(Dont tell me moms favorite is Robby.
Ive read all of Cosmos body language stories.)
Finally, she stops him, telling him, I cant let you get down on one knee.
I dont want to take that moment from you.
JoJo tells him she woke up this morning wanting it to be you.
Every day Ive been wanting it to be you.
I fell in love with you, but for some reason, my heart is somewhere else.
Robby, actually handling himself pretty well, tells her he wants her to be happy.
JoJo, meanwhile, has once again taken off her heels because fk it.
She cant stop crying about saying goodbye to Robby…until the instant she remembers Jordans on his way.
Jordan tells JoJo she challenges him to be the best version of himself.
Im so unbelievably in love with you, he tells her.
(So is he putting a time limit on this relationship?)
Stopping Jordan, JoJo tells him she loves him.
With both of them shaking, he proposes and she spoiler alert!
She then tells him, Im in love with youandI love you!
And thats how you know theyre going to last forever, folks!
But what does JoJo think of his new look?
If shes shocked, she hides it well.
NOT THE TIME OR PLACE, DUDE.
But before JoJo can utter the words Luke for Bachelor, Chad Bear stands up.
Translation: Chad is the only person in all of America who thinks Chad should be the next Bachelor.
The least exotic/exciting place they went all season!
And with that, the season comes to an end.
Hey, everyone deserves love.
