Now, Chads a man, and hes never lost sight of his goal.
The bad news for Chad?
Yet somehow, by the time Chad reaches the house, he realizes his wrongdoing.
He then tells Evan to leave him alone and theyll be good.
So obviously this guy studied apologizing in college.
Now can we have a pool party … like?
What she isnt prepared for is blood.
No, Chad doesnt punch anyone.
Its just Evan being Evan and getting a bloody nose after diving into the pool.
Suddenly, I feel like were getting an all-too-real glimpse at Evans childhood.
As Chad puts it, Apparently Evan just bleeds thinking about me.
(If Chads major was apologizing, his minor was definitely biology.)
Pulling Jordan aside, JoJo is all about getting some one-on-one time with her favorite football player.
But theres one thing that bothers JoJo about Jordan.
Hes almost too smooth, which makes her worry that its too good to be true.
At least until JoJo pulls him away and says what were all thinking: Man, youre lathered up.
If we listed Chads top five favorite things in life, they would be…
1.
Key word: tries.
Its like figuring out what restaurant you want to eat at, you know?
Do you want ice cream or steak?
So, in this scenario, are ice cream and steak two opposite ends of a spectrum?
And which one is Chad?
Looking around the house, Chad is not impressed with his competition.
Theres Evan, the bleeding crying sensitive guy with kids.
Then theres Derek, scared of people sensitive guy.
And when Chad asks Derek if hes afraid, he very honestly says yes.
Chad is unpredictable and Derek, quite frankly, thinks hes here to get in front of the cameras.
To quote him: I work, I dont watch the show.
Cool, good excuse, dude.
And this round goes to Derek!
That means Christian, Ali, and Nick are done for the season.
From here on out, JoJo tells the guys that she wants to leave the drama behind.
And with that in mind, shes getting them all out of Los Angeles!
Instead, theyre going somewhere new.
Theyre headed to……
……
PENNSYLVANIA!
I mean, talk about setting the mood.
After the guys go mudding in their Jeeps romance, right?
they arrive at their hotel just in time for Luke to get the first one-on-one date of the week!
After Luke chops a bit of wood to fuel the tub, JoJo tells him to strip down.
She thinks hes in impeccable shape.
However, Luke isnt the hottest thing on the date.
And yet, Luke has no problem stepping inside.
And ever the gentleman, he holds JoJo above the water until shes able to adjust.
As he puts it, Sometimes, hot tubs are too hot.
So wise, Luke.
You know, because this is their first real date and everything.
(Riveting stuff, huh?)
NEXT: Whos ready for a two-on-one date?!
Again, Chads biology minor showing through.
And you know what that means!
Alex and Chad are going on a two-on-one and we are all #blessed because of it.
As far as Alex is concerned, this date will be good versus evil.
But from Chads perspective, its more of a grown-man-versus-angry-child scenario.
Either way, its for America, according to Jordan.
Learning to appreciate life is what he claims gives him that confidence.
So maybe hes not the most succinct speaker, but hes sweet, so JoJo gives him the rose.
She then takes him to the final surprise of the night: another concert!
That would be true … if Luke and JoJo werent standing on a platform IN FRONT OF THE BAND.
Hey, this show knows its priorities.
Again, Pennsylvania is really bringing the romance.
Then theres James F., Daniel, Chase, Wells, and Grant on the white team.
But if you think you know whats about to happen, you have no idea.
Because this game is all about the rise of the little guys.
First, Wells proves that hes a stud at wide receiver, and even Evan catches a pass!
Sure, he ruins it by saying that he spells win E-V-A-N, but lets cut him a break.
His second bloody nose of the night is punishment enough.
As Evan puts it, I killed it.
Sure you did, guy.
So obviously the reason certain guys dont like Chad is his tendency to be real, right?
Then theres Jordan, whom JoJo is still having a hard time reading.
Hes not as vocal about his feelings, and that makes her nervous.
But, dont worry.
Jordans not actually shy.
He just likes to wait until he has an appropriately romantic background to confess things.
Meanwhile, did James ever get stitches?!
But when Wells chimes in as the mouth of reason, Chad gets up and leaves the room.
(So do we think Chads secretly the most intimidated by Wells and Evan, the smallest guys?)
It doesnt matter, because weve made it.
Welcome to this seasons two-on-one date, the battle of good vs. evil.
And when this ends, you go home.
And when you go home, you think I cant find you?
Well, if Jordan thought that, hed be wrong.
Threaten to bench press him?
Pour oil on him?
Whatever it is, Chad promises Jordan should be scared.
After a quick hike in which SOMEONE GAVE CHAD A MACHETE?
Honestly, who here thought, This guy is clearly on something.
He has proven to have rage issues, and hes on a date with the guy he hates most …
I KNOW, LETS ARM HIM.
(Like what I did there?)
NEXT: The end of Chad … or is it?
Actually, a lot of people buy the first house they look at.
And also, this is not the first date JoJos been on, dude.
This isnt even the first date YOU have been on.
JoJo says, realizing that Chad has crossed a line.
Hes messed with JoJos beau.
So what is this she hears about Chad threatening Jordan?
Chad claims that Jordan pushed him, but he really doesnt see the problem considering he hasnt touched anyone.
JoJo points out that he threatened to beat people up, but dont worry, Chad has an explanation.
It was so that people would be quiet.
Thats the ONLY reason hell beat anyone up.
Then he says this: If you have a better way I would love to hear it.
Literally anything other than violence?
Knowing enough, JoJo decides to take some time to think.
But then things take a turn.
But as he puts it, Life aint all blueberries and paper airplanes, you know what I mean?
Chad: Pigs are in the castle.
I have no words.
So instead, she gives Alex the rose and leaves Chad in the woods to fend for himself.
CAN SOMEONE ACCOUNT FOR THE MACHETE?!
If you need me before then, Ill be in Pennsylvania.
I hear their dog-sledding is excellent.
