The vast majority of the population is really bad at first impressions.
Onions and pomegranates look alike (to some).
And most recently, steroids are bad.
Credit: ABC/Rick Rowell
(Who knew?!)
Outside, Chad and Daniel are exploring their shared passion… for working out.
Also, with those addition skills, how many calories do we think he actually ate the other night?
Harrison explains that there will be three dates this week: one group date and two one-on-one dates.
And the first date card says Chase is going to get some alone time with JoJo!
His definition of killing it?
Were kissing, were flowing, everythings great.
Dont you love it when you justflowwith somebody?
Because nothing says nice to meet you like straddling someone whos half-naked!
If nothing else, we always learn a lot on these dates.
and in my favorite cutaway, Evan is working hard to get his squats in.
(Has anyone ever said, I WANT to get married more than once?)
Yet, at the first mention of the sanctity of marriage, Chase gets himself a rose.
This is only topped by the moment JoJo screams, Thank you!
at Charles Kelley, whos roughly five feet from her.
Well, Chad doesnt consider himself too lucky.
But when Chad tells Evan to stop talking, tensions peak.
Dont let those skinny jeans fool you, guys.
Jordans here to play.
And that brings Alex into the mix, whos all try me, bro.
And by that, he means have a go at beat me in a staring contest.
But the real kicker: The show then jumps to the next day!
Did they all just say no thanks and go to bed?
Who won the staring contest?!
Guess well never know.
Today, JoJo is taking the guys to a show.
Well, Vinnys out!
And because the opportunity is just too good, they ask all of the guys to participate.
Evan, not surprisingly is so PUMPED get it?
to talk about sex all day.
The rest of the guys seem to be handling the news pretty well.
Then theres Daniel who loves talking about sex and weird things and different bodily functions.
The fact that those go together so seamlessly in his mind tells me everything I need to know.
Then theres Vinny, whos doing vocal warm-ups?
And Chad, of course, is angry.
In his mind, his sexual past is something that JoJo hasnt earned the right to know.
However, Chad might want to be more focused on what Evans going to say.
Grant goes first, and he keeps things classic by telling the losing my virginity story.
Its something none of us deserved to hear, and its really only made worse when he starts demonstrating.
WE ALL KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN, NICK.
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, hey STOP.
Jordan says something about fluffing and penis size before James F. offers to show the audience his testicles?
(He wasnt kidding when he told his mom to turn off the TV.)
But leave it to Daniel to take things too far.
As he puts it, So shes tied up at this point.
I always carry a knife on me when Im traveling.
(Instantly, Chads face goes all Norman Bates.)
Those dangers include irritability and saying things like the girl Im trying to date is nagging me.'
Honestly, I think Evan just earned himself the right to wear that tank top!
Pretending nothing happened, Chad then calls JoJo up on stage.
Thankfully, JoJo gives him the cheek, and Alex has literally never been happier in his life.
If I cant lift weights, Im going to murder someone.
If I had a dime for every time I felt that way, amirite?
He tells her of his mistakes and insecurities and how he hasnt had this feeling in a long time.
Then he says it to her!
But when Vinny asks him about his performance on the date, Chads not phased.
If I was her, I wouldve turned me down, he says.
As for why he ripped Evans shirt, Chad claims it wasnt about what Evan said.
As far as Chads concerned, hes the one being bullied.
I dont start anything, he claims.
(Hes an erectile dysfunction specialist.
You get it.)
Evans the next one to talk to Chad, asking for both an apology and a shirt.
But Chad thinks hes being ridiculous.
Youre like trying to bully me or something.
Leave me alone, man, Chad says, causing a number of guys to leave the room.
You know, because saying someone can die doesnt make you sound like a bad person.
On the current date, however, Chad continues to stalk JoJo.
As for Grant, Chad thinks he looks like someone fromSpongeBob SquarePants.
You know, the one whose face sticks out.
He then tells her the story of the moment Evan pushed him first.
But its Evan who steals JoJo away from Chad.
(Do we think the hunk the mirror talks back to him?)
Alone with JoJo, Evan tells her that he wont stay in the house if Chad is here.
JoJo has to pick.
So when JoJo picks up the date rose, she asks to once again talk to Evan.
They then share their first kiss before they rejoin the group and Chad calls JoJo out.
And when Grant gets on Chad for interrupting JoJo, Chad asks if JoJo is really vibing Evan.
Yeah, and I dont appreciate what youre doing.
I dont like that.
You are being disrespectful, and I dont like this side of you.
JoJo then thanks the guys and heads out, leaving Chad to spit about things.
Chad thinks yards are things you sweep.
You never know, maybe he sleep-bullies.
But James tries his best.
And Jean seems to be into their body chemistry.
At the house, Chad claims hes not a tough guy.
Rather, hes just being himself and the guys are trying to be tough back.
So you ARE a tough guy, then.
While Chad eats a raw sweet potato as if its an apple to prove that his teeth are tough?
Daniel tries to get through to his workout buddy.
Lets just pretend youre Hitler, Daniel says in what might be my favorite moment in this shows history.
Lets not pretend Im Hitler, Chad quickly replies.
Okay, well, lets say youre Donald Trump or something like that.
And if you thought the jump from Hitler to Donald Trump was great, Daniels just getting started.
Maybe be more like Mussolini, you know, or Bush.
So the hierarchy, according to a Canadian, is:
1.
James says he still considers himself an underdog in the looks department.
As much as I want to believe that, Im skeptical.
Thankfully, he brought along his guitar to up his sexy factor.
Instead, there will be an all-day pool party.
Chad, however, is not happy that the guys will get to see JoJo in a bathing suit.
So while Chad continues to eat seriously, does he ever stop?
Harrison then re-enters and asks to speak with Chad.
If he doesnt, hell be gone.
Chad thanks Chris and starts to head back inside, angrier than ever.
His idea this time?
Cut off everyones arms and legs and throw their torsos in the pool.
See, kids: Steroids are bad!
And thats where the night leaves us, with promises of violence in tomorrow nights episode.
That gives us all 24 hours to erase Nicks sex story from our minds.
