(Oddly, theBachelormansion shares a striking resemblance with Corporate America.)
Is she talking yesterday?
In her entire life?
Credit: ABC
They just want to talk about how awful she is.
(And if shes living on a former news anchor salary, shes also a liar.)
He explains that this week, there will be two one-on-one dates and a group date.
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But for now, the one-on-one goes to Lauren B. Ben invites Lauren B. on a magical carpet ride, which isnt a magical carpet ride at all.
Instead, its a quick ride in a biplane, but whatever.
Lauren B. is terrified, but thankfully, the couple has a super helpful pilot leading them.
As the pilot informs them once theyre already in the air, Oh yeah, were flying.
So happy their lives are in your hands right now.
Either that, or they wanted to watch Ben and Lauren attempt to kiss around their headsets.
Can someone explain what it means tofeelthe love bug?
Should Lauren get Ben a paper bag?
But as any good flight attendant knows, the flight is really about the destination.
To quote Ben: Theres a tree, if you want to change.
Good lord, Ben, dont sweep her off her feet too fast.
Its not easy to have an open heart (thoughJane Seymour recommends it).
For the evening portion of their date, Ben and Lauren talk about her love of the little things.
(Read: If you dont like yard work, get the hell out.)
The date card reads Love is the goal, which means #sports.
So thats something to look forward to.
Finishing up the date, Ben tells Lauren something he hasnt told anyone even Olivia!
so far: His dad had some heart problems before the show and had to undergo triple bypass surgery.
Spoiler: She gets the date rose.
From there, they get a private concert from not the Dixie Chicks Lucy Angel.
All Ben knows is that, in this moment, Lauren is changing him.
(Its as if he can feel his love of mowing the grass setting in.)
And at least she knows it.
This is the point at which Olivia claims this is the ONE sport she knows nothing about.
Theres the cup right there, Harrison says, pointing to Ben.
(Hope you didnt think you were anything more than a prize to be won, Ben!)
As Rachel puts it, Were totally gonna win because were the stars.
All Ill say is: Youre all losers because this is embarrassing.
As she puts it, Balls flying at your face is never fun.
(Is he still cheering for her?)
After the game ends on a tie, its time for sudden death.
As Lauren H. says, being defeated is so defeating.
Olivia immediately steals Ben away to wave to the other women from a balcony get it?
shesliterallyabove them all before taking Ben aside and informing him that people find me intimidating, I guess.
It was about your toes!
Stop mentioning other things that are wrong with you!
Its like shes experiencing time for the first time.
But Ben must find it adorable, because it earns her both a kiss and the date rose.
These two should just hurry up and get a room, right?!
From what she can tell, Ben has a bang out, and its happy girls.
And despite her name sounding so upbeat, she isnota happy girl.
(Yeah, tell that to her when she finds out that she did get the one-on-one.)
By the time Ben actually arrives for their date, Jubilee is done jumping around.
Instead, shes firmly back to her true form of awko taco, as Jami puts it.
when she realizes that her date involves a helicopter ride.
(Shes afraid of heights.)
And yes, we know EXACTLY how many other women would like this date.
And as it turns out, Bens hand on her leg is all it takes to calm her fear.
Well that, and the fact that Bens taking her to a spa for the day.
It seems Jubilee has one favorite food: Shes obsessed with hot dogs.
Its too easy.)
But as the date goes on, things begin to smooth out.
Naturally, its during a game of shuffleboard that Jubilee realizes Bens a serious contender.
Remember how Chandler Bing said you should never explainwhyyour joke was funny?
Yeah, this falls under that umbrella for me.
Thankfully, theres not much explanation happening here.
Quite frankly, Im not entirely sure theyre having a conversation.
(Translation: Ashley S.would LOVE her.)
Shes the only survivor, and that makes her feel guilty.
Ben, ever the intellectual, asks what kind of guilt shes talking about.
UMMM SURVIVORS GUILT, BEN?!
Id say thats freakishly obvious.
But the important thing is, at the end of the night, Ben is loving Jubilees depth.
He wants to get to know all of her layers, so he gives her the rose.
(And you all thought it was awkward before he arrived!)
So Ben might be a little down, but hes got plenty of women to cheer him up.
People have even written blogs about her cankles (no they havent).
As she puts it, through tears, its the scariest thing ever.
And yet, its Jubilee who really steals the night for Ben.
Needless to say, Bens into it, but the women are not.
But you cant outrun drama, especially not when theres literally no escape.
(Like mice in a cage, those old creepy scientists once said.)
Picking up on the drama, Ben finds Jubilee upstairs.
Ben, firmly on Team Jubilee, walks away thinking the drama is over for the night.
And thats when Lace grabs him.
And you gotta do what the tattoo says, or whyd you even get it?
So with that, Lace leaves, and the rose ceremony commences.
That means its the end of the road for Jami and Shushanna.
Also limiting her options is Olivia, who has basically decided shell marry Ben or shell marry no one.
But its okay because Ben feels it, too.
See, when Ben hugged her, he squeezed her waist, which means that he basically just proposed.
(Thank God he didnt kiss her on the cheek, or else she might be pregnant.)
And that puts an end to another week of scientific breakthroughs.
