Thankfully, this time, it isnt directed at any one thing in particular, except maybe women?
Just kidding, theyre far too exhausted for any of that.
Instead, their fascinating observations include statements like, There are not a lot of us.
Credit: Ronda Churchill/ABC
So, Lauren H. is good at math.
Waiting for a date card, the women are a bit disappointed when Chris Harrison walks in.
The women have one hour to pack and catch their flight because Bens already there.
(Did they make him drive to save money?)
JoJo think Bens message to MULTIPLE WOMEN is so romantic.
Really, its the equivalent of him copy and pasting a message to all of you, but fine.
Maybe shes already drunk.
Arriving at their fancy Vegas suite, Leah feels like a baller doesnt she always?
and cant get over how, if it werent for Ben, they wouldnt be staying somewhere so nice.
Sorry ABC, Ben gets the credit on this one.
(Now I get why they made him drive.)
Finally getting this weeks first date card, JoJo gets a one-on-one date in Vegas.
Lets take a brief break here to talk about how the twins take their identity a little too seriously.
Yes, sharing is caring, but you all dont have to shareeverything.
you could each walk on your own treadmill.
you’ve got the option to also choose not to work out in jean shorts if you want.
My favorite part of this entire thing is them talking about how they have the same job.
Your job is literally to be a twin.
Also, this workout is doing nothing for you.
I guess shes off to her room to once again get zen with Ben.
(Olivias still not happy.)
Transitioning from day to night, JoJo gets ready to let her guard down with Ben.
Despite her excitement nerves, JoJo somehow manages to discuss her last relationship and her trust issues.
And yet, JoJo thinks shes ready.
With that, they head to roof No.
3 for some fireworks.
Because thats not cruel or anything.
Instead, the ladies start searching for something, anything, they can do.
For the twins, they thank their mother for years of Irish dancing classes.
(What would the chicken enthusiast think?)
I sincerely hope these audience members didnt pay too much money to see this show.
With showtime fast approaching, Olivia is backstage preening her feathers.
Shes ready to go after her man.
How can she not?
When shes with him, its like bam, sha-bam!
I mean, thats the kind of stuff Nicholas Sparks writes about.
Im pretty sure hes used those exact words at some point.
The twins head out first for their dance; then Jubilee follows on the cello.
Lauren B. decides to juggle while Amanda hula hoops, Caila hula dances, and Rachel makes balloon animals?
Why did we cut away from that?!
Lauren H. humiliates herself with aBachelor-themed Old MacDonald Had a Farm in her chicken suit.
And then theres Leah and a pogo stick.
Again, why are we skipping over these?
For one thing, Tina wouldnt delicately open a cake.
Shed bust out of the top.
I mean, whatever happened to go hard or go home?
I think Lauren B. puts it best when she describes Olivias performance as cringe-worthy.
And you know somethings bad when even Olivia realizes that shes not the greatest thing in all the land.
Backstage, Olivia has a panic attack over the fact that she thinks she humiliated Ben.
(Well, you screamed something.)
One quick question: What was Ambers talent?!
The first to get some time with Ben is Caila, who goes straight in for the kiss.
According to Ben, that makes her a sex panther.
Although at the moment, Lauren H. is getting to know little Ben.
Sadly, that stands for the puppet that she stole from Terry Fator, whos now suing the show.
But it does give us this gem: Little Ben is way bigger than I wouldve expected.
Walking away, Olivia thinks the interruption was funkadelic, for sure.
(What does she think funkadelic means?)
Hey, dont judge her.
Whats she supposed to do when she 400 percent needs to see him again??
Talk about life or death.
Olivia tells Ben that what she did today was not me.
Also, their first conversation wasnt her either.
She says something about Ben feeling guilty, but thats about where I fell off this conversation.
Much like Ben, Im confused, and I dont blame him for kissing her to shut her up.
But because a kiss is really all she wanted, Olivia walks away so happy with their amazing conversation.
At this point, she says getting the date rose would be wowee.
And yet, Ben hands the rose to Lauren B.
Sorry your brain hurts, Liv!
As one of the twins puts it, I would love to marry Ben on my first one-on-one date.
So while Becca gets changed, Jubilee talks about her virginity.
Especially if shes in that full-length gown, amirite?
And here you thought this date was going to be awkward!
From there, Becca and Ben spend the rest of their day marrying at least six couples.
Wedding chapel to dignified junkyard seems like a perfectly smooth transition, if you ask me.
Yeah, Id say figuring out whether shes a sociopath should be at the top of his list.
As Ben reinforces, I want you to feel.
He needs to know shes ready tofeel.
CAN YOU FEEL, BECCA?
Man, Ben is really stuck on this sociopathy thing.
Jumping right into the virginity talk, Ben asks if his lack of virginity is a problem for her.
Is her virginity a problem for Ben?
As he sees it, shes pretty good at making commitments.
And heres where things get really… Well, I have no words.
Ben has plenty of words.
(But what about when hes not great?
I feel like shes going to want to amend those.)
But for now, Beccas vows earn her a kiss and a date rose.
The answer: 14.
I think its safe to say that Becca has feelings.
However, were not done with dates just yet.
So much for Twins over Bens.
You also dont need to dump her in front of ANYONE, for that matter.
(Question: Does their occupation now change to sad twins?)
NEXT: What happens at the cocktail party…
Tis time for the cocktail party!
As Ben walks in, someone says, Theres our boyfriend, because thats healthy.
(She then follows that steal by having nothing to say, but its fine.
She gets points.)
Shes in a different color dress now, producers.
Youre better than this.
Moments later, Olivia interrupts Ben just as he asks Jennifer why she thinks shes single.
In other words, theyd just gotten to the good stuff!
Whisking Ben away, Olivia has finally discovered her talent: Eating cake.
(Because no one else can do that.)
Ben tells her to shut up stop apologizing for being awkward.
He finds it endearing, cute even.
And youknowOlivia heard that message loud and clear.
They practically just set a wedding date.
Not only does he like complicated women, but hes kind of into her whole awkward thing.
And its a good thing because she just sort of tried to put him in a headlock?
You know, because he literally hasnt been doing that since night one.
So we can add gigantor to the list of words Olivia doesnt understand.
And much like Amber, Im kicking off my heels and bidding you all farewell.
(Spoiler: Ive been in my slippers this entire time.)
