A return to their college town stirs things up for Helen and Noah.
Well, would you look at that: We begin in the future!
Thats a first, right?
Credit: Mark Schafer/Showtime
Lawyer Jon and his baby-faced assistant are still puzzling over the tape we got a glimpse of last week.
You know the totally misleading one where Scott Lockhart allegedly tells Alison, Thats our baby!
(Im not buying this for one hot second,The Affair.)
And we go spinning back into Helens perspective.
Its a college tour with Whitney!
Less impressed is Whitney, who declares it Hogwarts without the magic.
(Whitney, it should be noted, is also wearing a very questionable hat.)
She also sets up a Tinder profile for her mom.
You have at least five good years left.
Im just trying to help you maximize them.
Helen is on a budget (why?
), so theyre staying a hotel that Whitney does not find up to her snotty standards.
Whitney begs her mom to swipe right.
(True, Im sure.)
Helen is all, Youre golden!
You have your fathers charm!
Whitney is like, like dont compare me to the dude you hate most on the planet.
In fact, Whitney doesnt want to go to college at all.
She wants to attend the school of life you know, travel to places like Japan and London!
Or and heres the real deal she wants to live in New York and be a model.
Im assuming she means Manhattan here because she already lives in Brooklyn.
They fight all the way to a charming cafe.
Her stomp-away exit is ruined when she sees Noah across the street.
She runs across and greets him, Helen and Noah both confused about why the other is there.
Noah is with Eden, the stunningly beautiful but nightmarish publicist.
Whitney wants to upgrade into her fathers hotel.
Eff it, she says and wanders into the bookstore, amazed at what has happened to her ex-husband.
I think thats what she would prefer?
Last question from an audience member: Do you believe that love can last?
Noahs answer is about faith and about how it takes two to hold love up.
He notes the word unfaithful is used for adultery for a reason.
It gets a laugh from everyone but the one who counts the most.
After the reading they walk in the snow around campus.
They pass a couple making out against a tree a ghost of who they used to be, maybe.
Helen shivers, and Noah gives her his hat.
Seriously, he just looks physically so much bigger than her in this episode its bizarre.
They both admit to being hungry and name an old haunt, Monas, at the exact same time.
hey dont let Noah and Helen be cute together!
Helen is like, Were using the past tense here on that one?
He reminds her that she didnt go because her parents wouldnt let her.
Helen, realizing Noah is right, puts her head down in defeat.
They leave the place and Noah asks where shes staying and offers to have Eden get a cab.
Helen gives a very sincere apology: Shes sorry she made him leave Harlem.
And whats more, shes sorry that she was relieved when his first book failed.
Noah has the grace to say thank you.
He takes his hat back.
He grins just as a pretty blonde gets on the machine next to his with you guessed it Descent.
He Skypes with a very pregnant Alison and reads aloud some of the choice words fromThe New Yorker.
His peacock feathers are all aflutter!
Alison is excited too.
But wait, Noah cant listen to her fully because Eden keeps calling.
How is it that Eden is even annoying virtually?
Shes so happy, and hes all, Where is my office study stuff?
I find it interesting that in Noahs view of things regarding Alison shes really pretty drippy.
You just want it all, she says.
These two arenotconnecting their energy is more like friendly strangers chit-chatting at the bank than people madly in love.
I dont know why this made me laugh, but it did.
Hes all mad about it, and Eden is like, Dude, who cares?
But, as Alison astutely pointed out, Noah needs and wants it all.
Theyre both distracted at the sight of the line around the bookstore waiting for him.
Noah starts reading said shower scene and notices Helen, looking foxy, in the audience.
He makes a hasty decision to switch passages and lands on the Harlem we heard from Helens memory.
Noah does an excellent job of gritting his teeth and not showing how bummed out he is.
She slides him her phone number.
Helen, who is behind her, sees the whole thing and is amused-ish.
Haha, good for Helen.
I love this drunk Helen!
Eden continually texts him, and Helen is like, Good Llord, what does she want?
What does FOMO mean?
She tells him shes proud of him.
(Goodness, Noah Solloway is a virile man.)
They hold hands across the table, and she tells him sincerely shes sorry he didnt win.
This niceness is broken up by the sight of ole Earnest Schiffbaum at the bar.
Noah is all alpha male Im-going-to-teach-him-a-thing-or-three, and Helen stops him and says hes acting like her father.
Being back in our college towns really helps us all regress, doesnt it?
Thats pretty classy of her all things considered.
When they leave the bar, he asks her if she likes the book.
And sheesh, man, what do you want?
She looks at him and tells him she cant read it without crying.
She suggests he goes home alone and sleep it off.
He…does not take her advice.
(I actually said out loud in my empty apartment, Oh,Noah.)
He goes right up to Earnest and starts doing a whole who-do-you-think-you-are, and its real bad.
Of course, there are iPhones recording this everywhere.
Wheres your publicist when you need her?
Answer: Shes at the door of his hotel.
Noah is left alone with his mini-bar drink, signing copies of the book.
and says he wont use it unless he absolutely has to.
Uh, Im guessing he will have to.
(Are they testing paternity?
Because ack ack ack.)
Last stray thought: Noah didnt think of Whitney once in this memory: Is that deliberate or what?
Or is it just as she feared last episode, she doesnt merit that much mind time…
