Father and son both get unblocked in very different ways.
A Helen/Noah split hooray!
(More Helen, all the time, thank you.)
Credit: Mark Schafer/Showtime
Not for nothing, Helens crazy blond streaks ended up looking kind of great?
(What cant money fix?)
Trevor, true to form, doesnt want to go.
Margaret, also true to form, is no help whatsoever.
(I wish the Solloways supported the Mets, but alas, they are Yankees fans.)
Margaret natters on and on, and Stacey tattles that Martins stomach is hurting.
Margaret keeps pointing out that these pains happen when his father is near.
He doesnt seem well; he cant even get a shirt over his head.
Helen and he exchange some terse words and get onto the subject of Martin.
Martin sums this all up nicely by announcing he hates everyone.
The only thing wrong with that boy is Noah effin Solloway, Margaret spits as the car drives away.
The Butler women ride quietly up the FDR.
Helen asks if her parents are getting divorced and Margaret says that Bruce is too cheap to divorce her.
What on this earth is worse than an emergency room?
We have a nice and realistic depiction of chaos and disorganization and utter franticness.
Martin is clearly in bad shape and barfs horrifying green bile all over the floor.
Noah finally grabs a doctor who gets Martin on a gurney and into an examination room.
The nice doctor tells Helen and Noah that Martin has a perforated bowel.
They start squabbling, and the doctor is all, Cool it, I have to operateright now.
Martin starts babbling about wanting to go to Hawaii.
(Not Montauk, he pleads, and I feel you on that one, kiddo.)
Helen and Noah are left helpless in the hallway calling out weak Alohas.
(A reference to a Cameron Crowedisaster, perhaps?)
Helen notices that Noah has called Alison multiple times.
He tells Helen that Alison used to a pediatric nurse and that he should have listened to her.
They start arguing about who is to blame for poor Martins intestines.
The doctor comes in to be like, Keep cool, people.
Martin made it through the operation okay.
He most likely has Crohns disease which is chronic, but treatable.
They both need to work together to help Martin lead a normal life.
They sit on opposite sides of their sons bed.
Noah is texting, and Helen tells him to just go ahead and call Alison back.
Way to take the high road, Helen!
She even goes the extra distance and tells him hes an excellent father.
Martin wakes up, and they smile at each other.
This particular hate storm seems to have passed.
Helen gets home to find Margaret asleep on the couch.
Margaret wakes up, immediately concerned about Martin.
She explains to her mother that her son almost died because Helen had been listening to Margaret.
There are no words here to convey just how incredible Maura Tierney is in this scene.
She simply crushes it.
(like remember this scene, Emmy-nominating committee!)
I want you to get out of my house.
Helen holds her ground, though, and watches the car take her mother away.
Helen bursts into tears and hugs her daughter.
(Um, I may or may not have burst into tears here, too.)
Of course, its Oscar, who else?
Helen doesnt hesitate to agree to pay she says shell sell the house if she has to.
Now you are all my witnesses if I turn out to be right.)
He makes breakfast for Stacey as part of our brave new Helen-and-Noah-being-friendly world.
Martin walks in, looking better already (he even met a chick at the hospital!
), and its allBrady Bunch-style happiness.
Helen and Noah chat civilly, and they all sit around like a real happy family.
And its super nice and super weird feeling for everyone, Im sure.
Especially when its time for Noah to leave.
He tells the kids that they can come visit him in his new two-bedroom in Crown Heights.
Whitney is all, pass.
Noah leaves with a backward glance at the house (is it real estate or family envy?).
Shes staying at a place called the Sousanna Institute, where a a lot of yogis are running around.
He gets to a cabin, and guess whos there?
Its Alisons hilarious mother, Athena!
He sees her in the water and seems relieved to discover that shes still wearing a bikini.
Noah is looking a little unsure about Alisons new naked friends but seems determined to go with it.
(Uh,really?
Okay, well whatever.)
She listens calmly and tells him not apologize.
Shes being perfectly friendly but a little remote.
Alison doesnt do the happy dance and is all, Oh so were a couple, then?
Because apparently its been six weeks without any real communication.
She also tells him that she read his book.
Hes all, Uh-oh.
She goes on to talk about how now she knows shes sex and sex and more sex.
Noah is all, Well I wanted to prepare you!
Then he pulls the old writers trick itsfiction!
He then turns to a different approach: Hes written them a happy ending!
Im the ahole, he says (tell us something we dont know, Noah).
Alison, correctly, points out this is the ending that Harry wants him to change.
Sex for her became a way to feel things after Gabriel died.
(Who is Sebastian?
Oh, just you wait.)
Alison hasnt had sex in six whole weeks and her head is really clear.
Noah is all, Neat!
Hows that going to go when we leave here?
Alison is all, Oh, yeah, about that.
She cant just pick up and leave shes working and taking yoga-instruction courses.
She suggests he stay with her for a while.
Next comes some hilarious scenes of Noah trying to work on the grounds.
Theres a bench hes on, but all the chanting distracts him.
Next, he tries going outside a yoga studio, but he cant settle down.
Well, technically hes running from Athena, but she catches right up to him.
She busts him on having writers block.
Athena is like, Hey, isnt it great to see Alison happy instead of dark?
Hes like, Sorta?
She then riles him up by suggesting maybe hes attracted to Alison when shes unhappy rather that not.
He brushes her off and stomps through the woods.
He finds Alison talking to a handsome man who is…author Sebastian Junger!
Oh,The Affair, I couldnt love you more.
Noah fans out about Jungers books,The Perfect StormandWar.
And then Junger suggests reiki, and soon theres Athena working on Noahs chakras.
Athena diagnoses him as being trapped between wanting stability and being attracted to darkness.
Noah looks as though hes beginning to believe.
He goes straight to Alison and grabs her and takes her into the woods.
Hes letting the darkness in all right!
(That tree looks awfully uncomfortable.)
And why doesnt he respect her no-sex rule?
Alison puts up with this, with what degree of passivity, Im not sure.
Afterward she turns around, and they look at each other, and Alison tells him shes pregnant.
He picks up the phone as Harry calls right in time: Its done.
And so is this episode.
See you all next week!
