Figgy has a rough week while Adam makes a big decision
Its been one of those weeks.
Not a bad week, mind you, but averybusy week.
So busy, in fact, my first instinct was to pass off this weeksSurvivorrecap to someone else.
Credit: Monty Brinton/CBS
But SCREW THAT!!!
Who am I, Courtney Yates sitting out a challenge?
Homie dont play that.
(Homie do, however, solemnly swear to never use the phrase Homie dont play that ever again.
That was truly unfortunate and I do apologize.)
Now I know what youre thinking:What are you talking about?
Even talking about the state of your rambling constitutes rambling!
But first sorry, channeling my inner Julie Chen there lets have some non-recap-related fun.
Jennifer Aniston will be there.
James Corden will be there.
I will be there.
(Granted, not as good as those first two, but whatever.)
The schedule is insane with a million other things.
Go look at it:ewpopfest.com.)
Just keep your eyes out for the email address somewhere in the recap.
Its like finding a hidden immunity idol, only without any obvious marking on the side.
Okay, lets get to the recap itself.
ARE THE IDOLS TOO EASY TO FIND?
So Im happy for him to find an idol.
But are too many idols being found?
Not sure how fair that is.
NEXT: People who cant see bumping into things
THE YELLING LEADING THE BLIND
I love the blindfold challenges.
I love watching dudes get hit in the nuts.
I love hearing people yell YOUR RIGHT!
Its all gold, as far as Im concerned.
But this challenge was even better than normal, for a few reasons.
[awkward pause] I mean, I love Zeke, too.
Great gamer move, Figs!
Then things got weird.
Not Michaela literally pushing David out of the way that was hilarious, not weird.
But rather we had our first medical intervention…for someone who wasnt even participating in the challenge.
Hannah was sitting out and watching when she mentioned she felt faint.
Speaking of which, is Ken now truly like the Ken doll with no penis after that collision?)
I love that question, because theres only one acceptable response.
Like, are you allowed in that instance to answer with a Hmm, not sure yet.
Lets hope for the best!?
Or can you go all Magic 8-Ball and pull a Reply hazy, retry?
I mean, shes kind of limiting his responses with a loaded question like that, isnt she?
Im surprised he didnt pat her on the head while he said it and give her a lolly.
And then they do.
Its culture shock and physical and emotional torture all wrapped into one devastating package.
Theyve said hardly an ill word about anyone that we have seen.
Im sure Id get along with them quite swimmingly in the right social setting.
BUT HOLY HELL, THEY ARE INFURIATING IN THIS GAME!!!
Their inability to recognize why their showmance puts them at risk is beyond ludicrous.
The last time Ken and Jessica went to Tribal together, Ken tried to vote Jessica out!
That is the very definition of different!
Watch out, Taylor!
But thats not what was interesting.
What was interesting was what went on with Michaela.
First she started barking at her maze partner, Hannah.
And then she barked at her again.
And then some more.
Then she took a second to breathe.
And then she got back to barking.
Dont get frustrated, she snapped at Hannah.
Im not frustrated, Hannah calmly replied.
Im just getting yelled at.
Look, heres the thing: It worked!
They demolished the competition and won the challenge.
But it probably would havestillworked if she had given instructions with a little less bite.
And she wasnt even done!
After Ikabula won immunity, she openly cheered against Takali.
If you cant figure out how to work together, you deserve to go home.)
and Vanua didnt, so she was trying to protect numbers.
But did she not notice Vanua just ignored their Gen X advantage at the last vote?
Why alienate and upset people?
Why make that target even bigger by not having people who will want to fight for you to stay?
I want you to stay, Michaela.
I think pretty much all of America wants you to stay.
The first 25 people to emailrsvp@ew.comwill receive two free passes for both days of the convention.
You will receive an email back if youre among the winners.
Good luck, and hopefully Jeff Probst and I will see you there!
We now return to your regularly scheduledSurvivorrecap, already in progress.]
But back to Michaela and the one very large caveat that could make everything I previously wrote completely incorrect.
NEXT: Did Adam make the right decision?
ADAMS BIG DECISION
I like Adam.
Pretty sure thats not going to work anyway.
Hes low-key smart, which is what makes him so dangerous.
Adam had a big decision to make here.
Stay with the Showmance and keep the Millennial numbers strong.
Because that involves writing someones name down as well.
The whole world is probably screaming Get out the power couple.
What are you thinking?
said Adam, and hes absolutely correct.
Survivorfirst, lets go!
Was it the right move, ignoring the numbers and potentially pissing off his fellow Millennials?
I think it was, and heres why.
Wheres the promise and hope for him to climb that internal totem pole?
Its certainly possible, but not probable.
Plus, contrary to what Michaela thinks, is this even a Millennials vs. Gen X game anymore?
Chris already turned on the old fogeys to side with Zeke.
This game has become super fluid, and when the game moves, you have to move with it.
And honestly, whos going to be upset at Adam anyway?
(Although, to be fair, Michaela being pissed is not exactly a rare occurrence.)
1 among the Gen Xers for ousting CeCe.
He could be a completely different player now that weve got all that lovey-dovey nonsense out of the way.
Wow, this went on WAAAAAAY longer that I planned.
Didnt I start with some whole spiel about how I had to make this one much shorter than normal?
Well, here we are, well over the 3,000-word mark yet again, so there goes that plan.
And were not done.
