I may be in a bit of trouble now.
At the outset of Wednesdays double dose ofSurvivor, I innocently tweeted out instructions for a newSurvivordrinking game.
The only rule was that you needed to chug every time someone said the phrase voting bloc.
Credit: CBS
So, just a few drinks, I figured.
Just enough to get everyone a little toasty for the holidays.
Little did I know that every single other contestant and the host!
(Wait, I cant call it an alliance anymore?
Does that make me sound too old-school?)
The voting bloc branding is absurd, of course.
The truth, of course, lies somewhere in the middle.
People have been playing, just not on Cieras side.
And people have been making moves and switching sides, but its stuff we actuallyhaveseen before.
Coincidentally, serial under- and over-estimaters Ciera and Stephen were both booted this week.
(Is it just me, or does this challenge always seem to take place in the rain?)
Surprised more bathing suits werent ripped off though.
The first hour of tonights episode was one gnarly downpour after another.
I tell them Hell no!Survivoraint fun.
Going on a cruise is fun.
You know, goin fishin is fun.
Goin to play golf fun.
Im scared that my body is breaking down, cried Fishbach.
And to be clear, I dont mean cried out.
I mean actually cried.
The assault went all through the night and into day 26.
I need some ray of hope, begged Stephen.
I just need the sun to come out for 15 minutes or something.
In a masterful piece of editing genius, Fishbachs plea was immediately followed by…lightening and thunder.
But Stephens body was sending him other signals.
Check out our forthcomingAnal LeakageEP, in stores this holiday season!
NEXT: Safety or shelter?
Look, being cold is one thing.
But you’re free to suck it up.
However, when your insides start revolting like this, thats another story completely.
I mean, I cannot stress how much restraint that took on my part.
Not posting that went against every single fiber of my entire being.
I had to unlearn all that I had learned.
Years of training down the tubes.
I actually felt sorry for the dude.
WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME?!?!?!?
HAVE I GONE ALL SOFT-SERVE IN MY OLD AGE?!?
But it wasnt just explosive diarrhea that was hampering Stephen.
(By the way,Explosive Diarrheais the name of our live concert film.)
His swollen and waterlogged feet were starting to resemble those of my main man Frodo Baggins.
Perhaps this is where my shreds of compassion come into play.
When I was out on location forSurvivor: Philippineswe had nonstop rain for days on end.
(That was the season where it infamously poured for 21 days straight.)
So I salute him for carrying on.
You and I can never imagine it because we have never done it.
Even mostSurvivorcontestants have never done it.
Players in locations like Nicaragua and Gabon had nothing close to this to deal with.
It is the very definition of brutality.
Everyone but Joe and Keith went for the shelter.
This is why you are there!
I want to win that necklace right there.
Thats what I want to hear.
You are never safe in this game.Never.
You think Ciera regrets her decision now not to compete?
Also, performing in these challenges is one of the most thrilling parts of the entire adventure.
Dont sit on the sidelines.
Get in the game!
And if you dont compete, you could be gone.
And I would not have been able to live with myself had I not chose the unselfish choice.
With apologies to a decades-old advertising campaign, my baloney has a first name, its T-A-S-H-A.
My baloney has a second name, its F-O-X.
If you believe that for even a second then Ive got a Medallion of Power to sell you.
It hasnothingat all to do with being selfless.
This is the worst spin doctoring since the release of that terrible Two Princes song back in 1992.
Three times she dubbed Stephen Poopy Pants, and I just have to say, thats pretty uncalled for.
If anything, he should be called Poopy Shorts or Poopy Bathing Suit.
Its not like the dude was wearing slacks or anything.
Less alliteration, to be sure, but just more accurate on the whole.
But was it a good move for Jeremy?
Giving idols away can be savvy strategy of shortsighted impatience.
So how do I size up Jeremys move here?
So with all that, you cant call what Jeremy did a terrible move.
And that is exactly what happened when Kelley Wentworth found the replacement idol.
So why bother using it at all?
If Jeremy doesnt give Stephen his idol then Ciera is probably still in this game.
And she is the first of my pre-game final 3 prediction to go.
(Spencer and Kelley Wentworth are still alive and making me look good.)
So well done, daughter of Laura.
Im sure mom is proud… assuming she has forgiven you for voting her out.
Let Me Tell You a Story…
So on to the next episode we go, and holy crap, its theSurvivorfolklore challenge!!!!
We havent seen this baby since about season negative 5.
For one thing, its a challenge at night, which weneversee anymore.
What an odd and welcome throwback that was.
But it wasnt just pure nostalgia that fueled this one.
Kelley found an idol clue in one of her pieces (thanks, Jeremy!
But that win would come back to haunt him.
NEXT: When winning = losing
The Danger in Winning Individual Reward Challenges
I have a theory.
Its not particularly complex.
And I meant it.
Stephen thought the opportunity to bring Tasha back into the fold was worth it.
Now maybe he gets voted out either way.
Im not saying this was his ultimate downfall.
But it certainly didnt help him.
Thats just simple social dynamics.
Hit the message boards at the end and let me know your thoughts.
Kelleys Idol Worship
Remember when the idols were hidden in plain sight back in China?
This required far more stealth and patience.
Foot Fetish
I have to say, the feet challenges just freak me out.
I have nothing against feet in particular unless theyre Stephens overgrown monstrosities, that is.
But it just looks freaky watching contestants having to carry objects with their feet.
Like, does anyone even remember who the hell Sebulba was?
And if you do, did you really need to be reminded of his existence?
How incredible is that?
The guy went 29 days without once being eligible for elimination!
But his dream turned into a nightmare.
Its even better when that someone busts out a twist…andstillgets voted out anyway!
And thats exactly what happened at the second Tribal Council.
After more unnecessary talk about voting blocs (DRINK UP!
You could see the absolute delight on Stephens face as he went up to cast his two votes.
This has been 29 days coming, so I just want to take a second and marinate in it.
He was so proud.
He was so happy.
But Stephen trusted Spencer and paid the price.
Whether you were pro-Joe or pro-Fishbach you had to love the dramatic twists and turns that Tribal took.
Its whySurvivoris still so thrilling 31 seasons into its run.
It feels way too samey-samey.
Get them out there running around doing more.
Other than that, its been pretty lights out.
Well see if it can continue that momentum into the homestretch.
Happy and/or sad to see Ciera and Stephen go?
Good or Bad move for Jeremy to give away his idol?
And what are your thoughts on my theory that one should never venture to win individual reward challenges?
Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!
