Watch out for Hurricane Abi!
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Whoa, that didnt work out so well.
I figured I would have a go at write this weeksSurvivorrecap blindfolded.
Let me tell you something: Iwatchedcollege football, and Ive never been here.
Im ready to fall over.
True, that may be the six-pack of Milwaukees Best I consumed, but the point stands!
This is the most physical recap Ive ever participated in.
But it is worth it.
Because this season ofSurvivor: CambodiaSecond Chanceis (so far) flat-out awesome.
Four stellar episodes out of the gate.
This is season 31, people.
SEASON FREAKIN 31!!!
This show should have started suckingyears ago.
(And I guess, technically, it kinda did if you countSurvivor: Thailand.)
You know those people: the ones when you mentionSurvivorthat go, Oh, is that still on?
They attempt to make you feel dumb for continuing to watch.
If only they knew what they were missing.
But they dont, because they bailed.
Lets go through a few of them, shall we?
Hurricane Abi
Be careful whom you align with.
The ultimate alliance partner is someone who is predictable in both their behavior and actions.
In essence, anyone but Abi.
After blindsiding Woos ally Peih-Gee at Tribal Council, Tasha told Woo not to worry.
Youre good, she told him.
Youre not going anywhere.
Whether she meant this or not, its a smart move.
You always want people to feel safe.
That minimizes scrambling and the chances that they can mobilize something against you.
A safe-feeling player is a lazy player.
Tasha was doing exactly what she should be in this instance.
But do you think Abi realized that?
This is so ludicrous and dumb.
I dont necessarily love watching Abi, but I love watching others having todealwithAbi.
Shes like a heat-seeking missile deployed by producers to blow up anyone that resides in her immediate vicinity.
Abi is like the anti-Spencer.
Every decision she makes is dictated by her emotions.
She would be an absolute NIGHTMARE to play with.
But we dont have to.
Not only that, but Jeremy made a point of telling Stephen to look up in the trees.
Maybe its a combo of the two unsuccessful climbing mixed with successful falling.
(Next stop: Trying to touch the immunity idol after a challenge!)
NEXT: A kinder, gentler Kass?
A Rewarding Challenge
Finally!
Were back to two challenges in an episode.
And they were two beauties.
Ta Keo picked Terry, Bayon selected Jeremy, and Angkor went with Savage.
They seemed like reasonable enough picks.
They were struggling, and watching them take a stab at power through it made for riveting TV.
Both guys digging deep!
yelled Probst as Savage and Deitz approached the end neck and neck.
Terry missed his first shot, Savage made his, and that was that.
Terry finally did secure second place, leaving Jeremy in last and his tribe with nothing.
Better than Parvatis two idols.
Better than Jeff Probst and the word balls.
Better than Sallys knee socks.
Okay, hold on, Im getting carried away.
Scratch that last one.
The point is, I would love Kass for all eternity if she had done that.
Instead, she was doing something genuine and from the heart.
Awwww, how nice.
Just one thing: THATS NOT WHY WE VOTED YOU BACK ONTO THE SHOW!
Oh my God, it was amazing.
Ill see that and raise you with Andrew Savage rolling his piece right into Spencers leg.
And that may not have even been Spencers most painful collision!
It was all perfect.
NEXT: Woo and Varner pay a visit to Scramble City
And then something truly weird happened.
They just stopped trying to solve the puzzle.
Maybe they were psyched out by Spencers boisterous Win when it counts!
chant, which could be considered a distant cousin of the classic Dont let that fool you!
Angkor literally sleeping on the pieces, called out Probst.
I actually worried we were going to have another Russell Swan situation for a second there.
Poor Stephen tries to reach from the back row to gently caress the trophy but is rebuffed by Kimmi.
Why was he even doing that?
So we went to Tribal Council not knowing which way it would go.
You dont think Abi seriously considered voting for that thing?
She might have even tried to vote for the blindfold as far as we know.)
You expected Varner to not go down without a fight, but Woo?
I will be an asset for you guys, he announced.
Of course, Varner was not just going to sit there and take it.
Woo will be your nemesis, he countered.
I am absolutely not a physical threat to anybody.
Back and forth it went.
Varner individually addressed everyone and the connections he had made with them.
Finally, Varner had enough: Can we vote?
But Woo had I had enough!
Abi, I promise you right here right now that I will stay loyal.
Dont vote me out.
NEXT: A distinguished exit.
I freakin love it.
This wasnt some ugly personal confrontation (like we saw so many times last season).
They both stated their case.
They both pointed out potential weaknesses in the others game.
And when they were done, they shook hands on a battle well joined.
(Varner even told Woo You rock while voting for him.)
And while were discussing, lets all pause for the cause to give Woo some props.
Lord knows Ive hammered him for that horrific blunder of a game move he made his last season out.
Its the exact same thing Spencer has had to do inbothof his seasons.
Instead of laying down his torch, Woo fought to play another day.
Especially after she said, confirm you dont write Abi.
I mean, can you just imagine the scene back at camp after Tribal had he done that?
It would have been the most delicious thing ever.
And possibly worth it.
In the end, it was Varner that was voted out.
Jeff came into this game with the perfect attitude.
He waited 14 years to return so was intent on soaking up every second of it.
And then once it was over, no bitterness.
Just joy over having had the opportunity to compete again.
Im very grateful were his final words after being voted out.
And were very grateful for the four episodes of insanity you gave us, Jeff.
Well done, sir.
And while Varner may be out of the game, youre not done with him yet.
Were you hoping for Woo or Jeff to be voted out?
Was the blindfolded challenge too dangerous?
And who has played the best overall game at this point?
