Kelly might make for boring TV, but she’s not done yet.
LAST SEEN:Serving food to tribe; avoiding cameras.
ACTION PLAN:The subject is considered harmed and extremely boring.
Credit: Monty Brinton/CBS
All cameramen should approach with extreme caution.
As the SMPB report outlined, Kelly was the most high-profile returning player to come back this season.
More than 50 million people watched her lose by one measly vote to Richard Hatch back in season 1.
She had been away for 15 years and 30 cycles of the show.
Of course, this would be a huge storyline the hugest going into the season.
I want to be absolutely clear here: I like Kelly.
But that doesnt mean she makes good TV.
And she is down to earth enough that Im guessing she would wholeheartedly agree with that assessment.
I saw it firsthand when I was out there for the first few days of filming.
Every time Probst asked Kelly about her last time out or feelings about returning to play, she whiffed.
He kept coming back to her for obvious reasons and she kept giving clipped, boring responses.
I remember thinking to myself,man, they are in trouble with this one.
This doesnt mean yelling or screaming or creating a scene.
Nor does it mean sabotaging your own game.
Go back and watch Boston Rob.
Kelly was incapable of any of this.
And the proof is in the confessionals.
Is Kelly just that bad when being interviewed?
It would seem so.
NEXT: Shut your clam!
The problem is, by not having Kelly say anything whatsoever, it also telegraphed the vote.
I would not like for that to happen.
That would be bad.
Again, I like Kelly.
And maybe we will.
After all, shes still in the game…whether you see her or not.
Okay, lets recap the rest of this S.O.B!
The episode begins with Woo thanking his Angkor tribemates for not voting him out.
Hes in a better place, says Andrew of Jeff.
Chill out, man .The dude is notdead!Hes in a better place?
keep your death-like remembrances for the Rites of Passage, Savage.
Oh, right they dont so that anymore.
Theyre also out collecting clams, though they have a disagreement about exactly how many they should be collecting.
Not only does Kimmi want to eat, but she also wants to hear less from Monica about it.
Im not used to someone giving me their opinion where its not welcome.
This is kind of a fantastic quote because why is her opinion not welcome?
Yo, check it out!
Two tribes and two challenges seems to be the perfect mix in terms of getting sufficient time at both.
Still, Im not complaining.
Running challenges is always a total blast, but some are more fun than others.
I remember doing this one and, even after winning it, feeling a bit underwhelmed.
Its totally fine, but not an all-time great by any means.
Then the whole thing ends in a game of skeeball.
NEXT: The Spencer redemption arc chugs along
Honestly, theres not a lot to describe here.
Bayon falls behind when barrel occupant Monica is slow retrieving the bags (SHOULD HAVE BEEN FISHBACH!).
Anyway, Ta Keo wins, and Angkor gets the tarp.
I do because I replayed those moments on a continuous loop.
Now the winners just get…orange juice?!?
Still, thats good enough for Terry Deitz, who once again professes how amazing his new tribe is.
This is the final five, says Ciera.
But keep Terry happy, adds Kass.
Looks like someones in line for seconds on OJ!
Hes contributing to the tribe!
Hes living the dream!
And Im having deja vu to the exact same story arc presented for John Cochran inSurvivor:Caramoan.
Seriously, its theexact same story line, recycled and repackaged from season 26 to now.
Oh, also, when exactly did Spencer become some pathetic wallflower needing to come out of hisSurvivorshell?
Ive met Spencer and watched him for two seasons now.
Now theyre trying to sell us some story about him being a pathetic loser who couldnt fit in?
Im not buying it.
Spencer is better than that.
Dont get me wrong: I love Chuck E. Cheese.
I even had my 10th birthday party there.
But why in the name of killer animatronic mice would you take a date there?
First off, the pizza tastes like cardboard.
But one person is not so impressed, and Ill give you exactly one guess as to whom.
However did you know?
Abi thinks Woo is just using the story to garner sympathy.
I have part of someone elses body inside me, too.
I take that back.
Now, see, there I go assuming anyone reading this has any clue whatBody Partsis.
Just one problem: The arm originally belonged to a serial killer and is now turning him evil.
So what if the tendon came from some Brazilian psychopath?
Oh my God, WHAT IF THE ORIGINAL ABI IS NOT EVEN BRAZILIAN?!?!?
I just blew my own mind.
Okay, lets head to the immunity challenge to see whats cooking?
Clearly its going to be a good one, because we have an #OrangeHatAlert.
(Full-on obsessed with Probsts orange lid.)
Ta Keo sits Ciera and Kelley with an extra e, while Bayon sits Monica and Jeremy… Why are they sitting Jeremy?
Why the hell is Kimmi running this thing and Jeremy is not?
Is this some sort of convoluted reverse psychology Jedi mind trick they are pulling?
And then Stephen Fishbach happens.
Weve been providing full team round-the-clock coverage of the 2015 Stephen Fishbach Humiliation Tour this season.
Weve had his fruitless waist-deep search for the idol.
Weve had him being duped into looking in trees for an idol clue that has already been found.
Weve had himattempting to chop a tree limb.
We had himnot being allowed to touch the immunity idol.
But this week, Fishbach took it to a whole new level.
Because indeed that is exactly what happened.
Stephen actually hit a target, but it wasAngkorstarget.
bellowed Probst with just the slightest tinge of delight in his voice.
Fishbach was only successful in giving Angkor a point!
Okay, that was definitely more than a tinge.
NEXT: The thin line between strategy and social.
Of course, we figure it will be Spencer or Kelly, right?
Why wouldnt it be?
This causes Kimmi to go ballistic and then suggest getting rid of Monica instead.
Alright, a few things on this one.
First off, I dont blame Monica for this.
Which brings us to point No.
2: Why is Kimmi freaking out so much?
What Monica is proposing has the potential to benefit Kimmi, as well.
But seriously, CALM THE HELL DOWN!
Its not like Monica advocating keeping Kelly to vote out Jeremy.
Youshouldbe getting rid of Spencer.
Hes more likely to do damage later than Wiglesworth.
So why is Kimmi losing her mind over this?
Well, that brings us to point No.
3: This reeks of a personal move over a strategic one.
Judging by the Clamgate clip we saw earlier in the episode, Kimmi does not like Monica.
The look of absolute shock on Monicas face as the votes against her came rolling in was pretty priceless.
Monica was not so lucky.
you’re free to also read ourweekly Q&A with Hostmaster General Jeff Probst.
And for moreSurvivorscoop, follow me on Twitter@DaltonRoss.
Did Bayon make the right call in getting rid of Monica over Kelly and Spencer?
Are we starting to hit levels of Spencer confessional fatigue?
And what sort of hilarity will Fishbach provide us with next week?
