What a terrible way to end an otherwise terrific season.
Im not speaking of the fact that Jeremy Collins was just crowned the Sole Survivor, of course.
More power to the guy.
Credit: CBS
He played a great game.
(Im also not sure how that is logistical possible considering, you know, oceans and stuff.)
Second, this exceptional season deserved an exceptionally ridiculous entry.
A hang glider would have been nice.
Waterskiing could have added a certainje ne sais quoi.
At least hand them to Fishbach for chrissakes, and lethimwalk them in.
They all played hard, played well and could offer different reasons why they deserved the million-dollar check.
(Nothing against Tasha, but she was merely a spectator by the end.)
Did the jury make the right call in choosing Jeremy?
Well, Im not sure either Jeremy or Spencer would have been thewrongcall.
Both had solid claims to the loot.
Both are impressive runs.
I couldnt fault anyone for voting either way, and I expected a few votes to go to each.
The skunking Jeremy put on Spencer (and Tasha) therefore truly shocked me.
I figured he would win but not that cleanly.
Did Spencers threat to Jeremy at the previous Tribal Council cost him?
She 100-percent wins if shes sitting here tomorrow, said Spencer.
But then he took it a step further.
Let me address this for a second.
I actually do not have a problem with Spencer saying any of this.
So the problem was not withwhatSpencer said but ratherwherehe said it: at Tribal Council.
Spencer was in a tough spot, no doubt.
But I didnt hate it here for a few reasons.
I mean, if youre going to manipulate peoples emotions,that is the way to manipulate peoples emotions!
And it was all planned out that way.
Bottom line: Jeremy found a tool in the game and then used it at the perfect time.
So congratulations to Jeremy, and congratulations to the season as a whole.
I threatened to move the season ranking up from No.
8 all the way to No.
5 if the finale stuck the landing, so did it?
I also miss opening statements at the final Tribal.
Unfortunately, all the questions were very civil some might say bland.
So, the finale was by no means perfect.
But there were many great moments along the way with a great match-up at the end.
Thats good enough for me.
So yeah, I would probably leapfrog this overPalau,Pearl Islands, andAmazonand into the No.
This was a season with simply no lulls.
The finale starts as allSurvivorfinales start, with a recap of the season so far.
Its also a good excuse to watch Stephen Fishbach crying again.
Not that we needed an excuse.
This leads into night 35 after Abis ouster, and Keith is plum confused.
Actually, hes hopping mad.
Not you, Jeremy, not Spencer, not Kelley.
Thats exactly why I wanted to get rid of her, explains Spencer.
But before we see how that shakes out, we need to head to the first immunity challenge.
So Spencer is safe, but Jeremy and Tasha should be nervous.
Either that or your name is Jeremy.
Jeremy just doesnt see it and thinks Spencer is being paranoid.
Kimmi makes like Claude Rains inCasablancaand is shocked SHOCKED!
to learn gambling is going on in here.
And that I was making thats what she said jokes.)
But Kimmis status is not the only point on which Spencer and Jeremy do not see straight.
Spencer says there is no need to split the vote because Wentworth doesnt have an idol, man.
Jeremy is not so sure.
She found one before, he replies.
Youfound one before, says Spencer.
That doesnt mean I thinkyouhave an idol right now.
Oh, Spencer, you have no idea.
And then the fireworks start.
Hes publicly calling out Kimmi, while at the same time whispering to Kelley youre good.
Now why would he whisper that?
Clearly the votes are going on Wentworth.
Meaning we just had our firstSurvivorvote where zero of the votes actually counted.
Theres no other option.
Chalk it up to some sort of weird voodooSurvivormath.
NEXT: Keith wastes Kelleys masterful handiwork
Now lets make things evenmoreconfusing.
While Spencer asks Jeremy, Would you rather have Kimmi go home or Keith go home?
Kimmi does some campaigning, and her campaigning is not to them, but to Keith.
I havent been here in a long time, she tells him.
Is it just me, or is that the worst sales pitch ever?
Keith should throw away a chance for a million dollars simply because you had more time in between seasons?
Is this a lame attempt at a seniority play?
Well thats certainly interesting considering Kimmi voted out Kelly Wiglesworth…from season 1.
But remarkably, it works!
KEITH, DONT LET HER MANIPULATE YOU LIKE THAT!!
Totally love that guy, but sheesh.
Thankfully, I am not the only one about to pop a vein over this idiocy.
Fishbach is about to have a full-on conniption over on the jury.
Seriously, the guy is shaking so much he looks like he just got tased.
Meanwhile, Kelley tells Keith Hold on, you cant just give up like that.
Thankfully, he reconsiders, and Kimmi is unanimously sent to the proverbial house.
So in a span of a few minutes, five different people almost got voted out or quit.
Wentworth pulls away and takes it, adding to her resume.
Maybe if Jeremy had tried spitting that would have worked.
Nowthatsa language that Keith can understand.
Anyway, their eyes eventually lock leading to…a passionate embrace and sudden explosion of forbidden love.
Oh, sorry, that was a section of my uncompletedSan Juan del Surfan-fiction project from 2014.
In actuality, Jeremy tells Keith to vote for Spencer as a safety net.
The Tribal Council that follows is a somewhat frustrating affair due to a serious missed opportunity.
Kelley starts things off by saying the vote doesnt matter since Keith is going home.
But because it is coming form the lips of Mr.
Stick to the Plan, it actually works perfectly.
Hey, thatsBig Brothers motto!!!
You cant go stealing mottos fromBig Brother!
Whats next, stealing their contestants?!?
Oh…uh…never mind.
Sure, they might think youre bluffing, but would they risk it?
Jeremy has been worried sick about idols this season.
It was at least worth a shot.
But Keith never took it, and now hes on the jury.
Like I said, from a game standpoint infuriating.
Fight to the finish, man!
Win and youre in.
Lose and start convincing the winner how terrible you are so he/she takes you with them.
Eventually it comes down to Jeremy vs. Spencer.
Fishbachs tears, just because I assume he is off crying somewhere.
Naturally, Kelley reports this back to Jeremy.
Would you do fire?
asks Jeremy in signaling a potential willingness to create a tie which would lead to a fire-making tiebreaker.
There are several reasons why Jeremy shouldnotdo this, though.
All you are doing is helping that person pad their resume with another achievement.
That is a general gameplay rule.
Take a look at the jury.
If she makes it to the end, the game is hers.
Of course, this is exactly what Spencer argues at Tribal Council.
He is right to argue it; he just should have done it without the threats.
What a great game Kelley played.
Cant say enough good things about her.
Respect is due, people.
Okay, so now we have our final three.
They also get a mirror, a scale, and the traditional finalist feast.
I cant help but wonder what Tashas state of mind is at this point.
Does she actually think she has a shot?
Is she working through her big talking points for that night, or is she all F it.
No chance I win anyway so might as well eschew the mimosas and just go straight champagne!
She could have pulled a Fairplay and gone to Tribal Council completely wasted.
Had she done that, I would have voted for her.
Kinda have a felling Abi and Kass may have as well.
NEXT: Final Tribal Council questions
SAVAGE
My vote is completely open, says Andrew.
Spencer, your level of arrogance drove me crazy.
Savage comes at the young lad for his threats to Jeremy, which Spencer blames on insecurity.
But then Savage comes after Jeremy forhisarrogance in skipping and verbally attacking Kimmi before voting her out.
He stood up for her, only to be stabbed in the back.
Both Spencer and Jeremy off to solid starts here.
In Fishbachs defense, he actually bothers to ask Tasha something, so thats nice.
CIERA
Ciera is also eloquent…and fiery at times, as well.
So I couldnt help but be mildly disappointed by her query of why flipping should be rewarded this season.
All it did was allow for more back-patting about how off-the-charts incredible this season was.
Leave the season-complimenting to me, okay!
KEITH
Let me just say that Im not a big fan of the tell-me-why-the-other-person-deserves-to-win question.
I mean, honestly, whats the point?
That leads us to Keith: Where Im from, being humble is a pretty big thing.
This makes no sense whatsoever.
Why ask them to fake enthusiasm telling you how much better theotherperson is?
Its just an absolutely pointless and ridiculous exercise.
ABI
Abi has notes.
So well done, Abi.
Or whoever came up with that question.
And I will use that behavior as an example to my children of what never to do.
JOE
Honestly, Joes question was so boring I have no memory of it at all.
Im assuming his hair was on point, though.
WIGLESWORTH
15 years ago, I was sitting right there.
I lost by one vote.
My fate was determined by one simple question.
Jeremy, Spencer, Tasha: Pick a number between 1 and 10.
OH MY GOD, KELLY WIGLESWORTH JUST STOLE THE MOTHERFREAKING SHOW!!!
And here it was.
Made the Wiglesworth casting worth it for that moment alone.
NEXT: More final Tribal questions
KASS
Kass uses her moment to give props…to Kass!
You might want to get an ice pack, Jeremy, because here comes the burn!
Kelley instead comes forth with a totally innocuous question: What was your Second Chance story about?
Thats the last question?
No mentions of evil stepmothers or secret child TV stars?
What was your Second Chance story about?
Hell, Abi could have read that off a piece of paper!
What a complete letdown from what could have been…
Hold on a second.
Jeremy is talking about being here for his family.
But there it is.
And now the music is swelling.
And now Jeremy is talking about Val telling him he has a baby boy on the way.
And Kleenex boxes from coast to coast are being emptied.
And now the jury is getting a little misty.
It wasnt a confrontational moment that stole the show, but rather raw emotion punctuated by a well-timed revelation.
Im a family man.
Not saying Jeremy did not mean every single word of what he said here.
Ive met the dude a few times, and I believe it all.
And with that, the votes magically arrive in America, where Jeremys coronation is complete.
God, I was pissed!
So I was a season too early, it seems.
Anyway, I definitely did not see a unanimous vote coming and Spencer getting Fishbached.
Spencer deserved better than that, and you could tell the end result stings for him.
But he should be proud for going the distance.
So should Tasha, for that matter.
And the second of which being it was not terribly memorable.
That was a great moment directly tied into a huge event that took place during the season.
And the fact that the doctor and nurses that took care of Danny were flown out, as well?
Ive never been one of those guys that feels like every single person needs to speak.
I would have LOVED to have gotten her thoughts about that.
And the most egregious omission would have to be Ciera.
The woman was ahugepart of this season, but we heard nary a peep form her at the Reunion.
So the Reunion wasnt perfect, but at least it was all contestant-based.
And there were moments.
It was cute when Probst said Jeffrey Collins, not a bad name for Jeremy and Vals unborn boy.
And then there was the person who wasnotat the reunion.
To find out how to access all that stuff, just follow me on Twitter@DaltonRoss.
And now, I turn it over to you all.
Did the right person win?
Did the finale satisfy?
And where does the season now rank for you?
