Entertainment Geekly’s ‘Star Trek’ series goes to utopia.
The best book ever written about screenwriting in the 20th century is William GoldmansAdventures in the Screen Trade.
His definition of comic-book picture includesThe Thing,The Deer Hunter, andThe Wrath of Khan.
Times change, sometimes for the worse.
Horror films, terrible war movies, and space-submarine screamfights all get respectable, if they last long enough.
Eighteen years ago, William Goldmans bookAdventures in the Screen Tradetaught me how to be a writer.
Thats the first line of the best book ever written about screenwriting in the 21st century.
Who knows if that is the actual title;Fade Inwas never officially published by anyone.
The book was written by Michael Piller, one of the true grandees of the 90sTrekRenaissance.
He was variously showrunner forNext GenerationandDeep Space NineandVoyager.His open-door script policy launched careers.
In a typical aside fromFade In, Piller casually recalls that one time he discovered Ronald D. Moore.
Piller started working on the screenplay for the ninthStar Trekfilm in March, 1997.
The Federation is old.
In the past 24 months, theyve been challenged by every major power in the Quadrant.
The Borg, the Cardassians, the Dominion.
They all smell the scent of death on the Federation.
They all smell the scent of death.
The guy saying that line is a vision of time ravaging across a body.
At one point his character RuOlfo screams at Picard.
His forehead cracks open, spilling blood.
Michael died too young in 2005.Fade Inis his lost masterwork, though its only lost if you arent looking.
It was apparently planned as a behind-the-scenes tie-in toInsurrections release.
All of these people, Piller insists, had the best intentions.
And somehow, their best intentions madeInsurrectionterrible.
Maybe thats whyFade Innever got published.
No one in Hollywood wants you to know when they screw up a movie.
Now, Im loathe to quote too much fromFade In, since the books legality is suspect.
A few years back, Sandra Pillerwas talkingabout giving it an official release.
I would buy the hell out of that.
ButFade Inis out there, if youre looking for it.
He solved problems with his intellect and communication skills and would never fire weapons unless fired upon.
This side of him had not been explored in the other two feature films.
I sort of love this idea?
But someone disagrees with me, disagreed with Piller.
Piller discusses in lovely and thoughtful and witty detail the very specific manner in which he conceived ideas.
The connection rejected the pitch apparently because a period-piece show wouldnt play well for the youth demographic.
Were obsessed with youth, I thought.
Looking young, feeling young, selling to the young.
When was the last time anybody did a fountain of youth story?
Patrick Stewart was 58 whenInsurrectionhit theaters, the same age Shatner shothis autohagiographical magnum opus.
Forty-five in 1966 meant memories of Depression and of war.
Something to consider, maybe: WasStar Trekalways supposed to feel a little old?
But isStar Treksupposed to be about people of a certain age?
Every new iteration ofStar Trektries, in some ways, to age the franchise downwards.
Its not insidious, to chase after the youth demographic.
Adults went to movies; it was assumed that adultsdecidedwhat money went to what movies.
That started to change not long afterTrekdebuted, and then it really changed right beforeThe Motion Picture.
Hollywood cinema has infantilized from there generally, not completely, but steadily.
This infantilization played out in myriad complex ways.
Movies got dumber, bigger, better looking.
Action scenes got cooler, but less believable.Star Trekmovies got bigger laser guns, stopped quoting Shakespeare.
Actually, its tricky to even use a word like infantilization.
Some of the dumbest action movies of the 1980s are now (rightly) considered classics.
What does it mean to age, in the age ofThe Expendables?
Does anyone have to grow up?
Oh, look: Boobs!
Did I mention that this is also the firstStar Trekmovie where someone says boobs?
Crusher:Not that we care about such things in this day and age.
TheEnterprisecrew has arrived on a mysterious planet, populated by a mysterious race called the BaKu.
Actually, Wikipedia informs me that the architectural design combined Thai, Balinese, and Polynesian styles.
Noticeably absent from the village: Anyone who looks Thai, Balinese, Polynesian, anything but lilywhite.
The BaKu suggest all three, and worse.
They live in the kind of utopia that simultaneously resembles Jeffersonian pastoralism and a Phish summer camp.
They dress like burlap and probably eat their own smug smiles for breakfast.
TheEnterprisehas arrived here on a provocative mission.
(Dont worry: Death was never fatal.)
ButInsurrectioncan only commit to a bold idea for so long and soon Datas back with the good guys.
I cant quite get over the cosmic irony of this shot.
(And Shatner, god help him, never got within spitting distance of a freakingdouble-canoe.)
Their love affair begins one night when Picard walks into his quarters.
He asks the computer to play something Latin: Mambo.
Picard can sense something is wrong.
He looks at himself in the mirror, and cant quite recognize the man he sees there.
So he goes to Anij, and demands to know the hilarious truth: Howoldare you?
She tells him THE SECRET OF THE BAKU, who cares.
This planet has curious powers.
It makes the BaKu basically immortal: Anij herself is over 300 years old.
And it has strange, vaguely youth-ening effects on any visitor.
Like Worf, who gets a zit.
Or Riker, who pops into Trois room with a spring in his step and playfully demands some smooches.
I want to say that the loss of Rikers Beard is further evidence thatInsurrectionis youth-besotted.
But truthfully, all this silly stuff is the very best part of this terribly silly movie.
The Troi-Riker stuff is loopy, but Jonathan Frakes and Marina Sirtis are clearly having a ball.
Now, maybe that scene strikes you as helplessly goofy.
Maybe you thinkStar Trekshould be cooler, hip, less Gilbert & Sullivan, more Beastie Boys.
Maybe you react to that scene the way Worf does.
The movie itself resists all of its own lighthearted instincts.
This plot has been approvedby the Federation makingInsurrectionthe middle chapter of the Paranoid Trilogy alongsideThe Undiscovered CountryandInto Darkness.
This also leads to copious scenes where theEnterprisecrew shoots drones with laser rifles.
At one point, Worf fires a laser bazooka.
Not a single weapon was fired in that film, recalls Piller, quite lovingly.
Bold text mine, because that statement is fascinating.
Not fascinating because Piller is wrong.
Before 2009,Voyage Homewas the highest-grossingStar Trekmovie ever.
If you adjust for inflation,Voyage Homeactually made more domesticallythanStar Trek Into Darkness.
(You save a lot of money when you dont fire any weapons.)
Maybe its the surprisingly long tail of influence of the 80s action genre.
Theres a way to do that.
This is anotherNext Generationmovie where the weird-looking freaks are weird and evil.
Insurrectionis sentimental, not that theres anything wrong with that.
Its lovely to see LeVar Burtons eyes, staring peacefully into the sunrise.
Butyoucant have those benefits, because that would be wrong.
Can anyone remember when we used to be explorers?
Picard says that at the start ofInsurrection.
Nicholas Meyerdefinitelywouldve thought of Tennyson.
ButInsurrectionis an old mans movie desperately struggling to reclaim some lost youth, some semblance of cool.
FASHION CHECK-IN
Insurrectionis almost forgotten in theTrekcanon, which is arguably worse than being actively loathed likeFInal FrontierandNemesisandInto Darkness.
TheEnterpriseis throwing a party for some alien species or other, a ceremonial event requiring ceremonial attire.
Actually, theInsurrectionuniform goes Full Navy with the dress whites andthengoes Full Royal with the golden trim.
And were talkingblindingwhite none of the lame beige ofThe Motion Pictureor fudgey maroon-brown of the earlyNext Generation.
And all along, these dress-whites stay spiffy, bright, blindingly clean.
What Im saying is: God help me, these are my favoriteStar Trekuniforms.
THE WHOLE MOVIE IN A NUTSHELL:
