So he does the only logical thing a non-bloomer can do: He decides to fake his own puberty.
No last-minute dash to the finish line.
No final charge across the battlefield to victory.
He snapped the pajama elastic back.
Time had run out.
Another school year was nearly over.
And he was still stranded on Pubeless Island.
Jack sat at the kitchen table with a bigger-than-usual bowl of cornflakes.
His mom, Adele, glanced up at him from her cup of tea.
First day back, she said.
Yep, said Jack.
His mom took a sip of her tea.
Must be looking forward to seeing everyone again?
Hallie breezed past and grabbed her breakfast smoothie from the fridge.
On your own, she added.
Gross, said Hallie from the other side of the fridge door.
I was busy, said Jack.
Gross, said Hallie.
Jack could guess what his sister was thinking.
A fourteen-year-old boy, alone in his room for daysthere were natural conclusions to be drawn.
But that was the problem.
Guessing was all he could do.
Sure, everything Ms. Porter talked about in Health Ed made total sense.
Anyway, said Jack.
Its not like we had zero contact, we just .
Right, said his mom, definitely not convinced.
So you hung out with Vivi, Reese, and Darylyn online.
Uh-huh, Jack said through a mouthful of cereal.
Jacks gran, Marlene, shuffled into the kitchen and switched the kettle on.
Dont forget to take my prescription to the drugstore today, Jack.
I never have forgotten, Gran, said Jack, relieved at the change of subject.
He finished his bigger-than-usual bowl of cornflakes in silence.
It was a punishment from the gods for becoming semifamous in sixth grade.
Thered been a mix-up at the hospital and he was actually a girl.
Jack had already ruled out 2.
If gods existed, they probably had better things to do than watch reality TV.
He was pretty sure his friends had already dumped him.
The signs were obvious.
Vivi hadnt called or e-mailed or even messaged since the end of last semester.
Two whole weeks of silence.
To which Jack had responded with .
well, to be fair, silence.
No word from Reese, either.
His mom was right.
Jack hadnt seen his friends for two weeks.
It wasnt just the freeze-out over the break, though.
Sometime around the end of seventh grade, Jack had started noticing the changes.
The hair above Reeses lip and under his arms.
Vivi becoming, to the extent that Jack had looked, more boobs-having.
Thered been other things, too.
He hadnt thought much of it at the time.
At some point the seeds of doubt must have been planted in Vivis mind too.
Because that was what happened when you didnt measure up.
You got left behind.
Hed really hoped his growth spurt might hit by the time school went back.
Everything Jack had read on forums and message boards over the break said his time would come.
But Jack didnt have time for eventually.
Complete social rejection was a mere pubes-breadth away.
He had to buy himself some time.
That was when Jack thought of Bigwigs.
Sure, it had been three whole years since hed been in front of the cameras.
Sure, it was just a dumb game show.
But it got him thinking.
Bigwigs had been about pretending you were something you werent.
Teams of kids were sent out into workplaces week after week, doing jobs that adults would normally do.
And the better the contestants played at being adults, the further they went on the show.
Was the answer as simple as that?
All he had to do was convince his friends he had hit his growth spurt.
All he had to do, basically, was fake puberty.
