This…is Ryan Seacrest talking aboutAmerican Idol.

Those infuriating commercial break teases just sort of happened.

It just sort of happened and we stuck to it for several years.

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Credit: Ethan Miller/Getty Images; Ray Mickshaw/Fox via Getty Images

And I just started changing the cadence of it a little bit, I guess.

Now if I say that to people, they get it.

Remember all those battles between Simon and Paula?

Harry Connick Jr. quarreling with mouthy contestants?

That five-star slice of diva sirloin shared by Mariah Carey and Nicki Minaj?

Despite pervasive belief that it cant all possibly be real, Seacrest insists otherwise.

Well, we dont, he maintains.

Everything that the judges and I say is spontaneous.

None of its scripted.

When Simon and I would spar back and forth live, none of that was premeditated.

It was literally all unfolding at the time.

Even the disastrous Mariah-Nicki year?

Thats certainly not a blur.

They were actually friends!

Like, real friends.

the Taylor Hicks-Jordin Sparks years).

That was a really special time.

He got emotional, especially during finales.

It did get emotional for me, for sure, he says.

You get to know the contestants.

Once we get down to the finales every season, those were big deals.

We want to celebrate each of those contestants in the finale, but those would be tough.

Thats never something that I take lightly and never something that you become immune to.

I consciously made an effort to say almost similar exact things to each of them.

He almost couldnt anoint Ruben and Clay.

I remember that like it was yesterday, he recalls.

I remember being at rehearsal at the Gibson Amphitheatre, and I had the flu that night.

I did, barely.

But he has regrets.

Theres no reason to highlight your hair, says Seacrest.

I dont think that was necessary.

For some reason, I thought that was a good idea at the time.

The series finale ofAmerican Idolairs April 7 on Fox.

Stick with EW.com for more retrospectives fromIdols key players!

A version of this story originally appeared inEntertainment Weeklyissue #14081409, on newsstands Friday or available for purchasehere.