Newman calls the band relentlessly irrelevant and accuses Rick of playing drunk and out of tune.
Theyre mopey and havent written a true song in years.
The crew is livid, and with good reason Newman didnt even go to a show!
Credit: Patrick Wymore/Showtime
He reviewed a YouTube fan video.
(Though the girl sure knows how to craft the perfect bandana headband.)
Cut to Atlanta, where Bill lies in bed, caressing a naked, sleeping woman named Cassie.
Back in the arena, panicky Reg is doing what he does best panicking.
In a twitchy moment, Reg decides to neutralize Newman and lead with sugar.
This is the Staton House crew, so nothing ever works out as planned.
Oh, and Newman wont be the only guest star of the evening.
Fleetwood Macs Lindsey Buckingham will be hitting the stage as Staton Houses opener.
Her rules are as followed: Phone sex.
Three times a week for at least 10 minutes.
There is no crisis that cant wait 10 minutes, she says.
We later see Shelli having phone sex that is quickly interrupted by Bills voice coming through her earpiece.
NEXT: Newman gets drugged…and naked
Cut to our first glimpse of Newman.
Hes wearing Hummer-yellow sunglasses that just scream tool.
The crew agrees to let her stay backstage…ifshe works with them on Operation Newman.
He drinks Wes druggie coffee.
The coffee is magic.
Or at least Newman thinks so.
I dont know if its the coffee or just me, but Im on fing fire, he says.
Meanwhile, we start to see Newmans hallucinations rodents crawling everywhere, Lindsey Buckingham on fire.
Reg is seriously pissed about, well, everything, and wants to fire Wes for lacing the coffee.
I dont even listen to the music I review…
I am a fraud!
he screams into the microphone, before fully removing his robe.
The stadium is ignited with cell phones, recording Newmans every slurred word.
Throughout all of this insanity, Bill gets a text from Cassie (remember her?).
But I digress…), but Cassie is staying with Man Bun.
Kelly Ann insists Bill text Cassie something profound before he says goodbye for good.
Ill always remember you as the most beautiful painting maybe the world, Bill says.
Cassie blows him a kiss.
Nice work, Serrano, Bill says to Kelly Ann.
Cut to Newman, who has a new, post-hospital review of Staton House.
This can be the future.
But can it last?
