Ramona celebrates her birthday and now owns the color red
This season ofRHONYis SO.
This might be one of the best ever.
It also just makes the terribleness ofRHOBHsoooooo apparent.
Credit: Bravo
WHAT MORE CAN YOU WANT?
The episode opened with Bethenny packing Brynn for some sort of trip.
Its unclear where shes going.
But Bethenny does not allow Brynn to check her luggage.
That tiny lady has to roll her own bag.
But Brynn also needs to approve all of her ensembles, including her evening looks.
This is a very relatable sequence for working mothers in America.
Next, Dorinda and Carole meet up for dinner.
Carole reveals that she lost her phone, which did not have a password.
Shes pretty annoyed with Bethenny after she basically unleashed the Kraaken at Jules construction brunch.
I just love that image.
Like a performing arts center for some little bugs.
But also BETHENNYS HOUSE IS HUGE.
These people are nuts.
If youre going to judge something, judge her gigantic duck in the front yard.
Ramona and Sonja are finally reunited when the former comes over to Sonjas abode.
Before she gets there, Sonja says something about an event at Beautique/Bootique/Buutique.
We better go back to that joint this season.
So Ramona comes over and basically immediately launches into yet another Sonja drinks too much discussion.
Well, Lady Morgan is not thrilled by that.
Probably not helping Morgans party antics is the fact that shes offered Luann to live in her house.
Sonja thinks it would be likeThrees Company, which is confusing because its just the two of them.
Apparently the last time Luann stayed at Sonjas she came in at like 5:30 a.m.
I cant even stay up past 1 a.m. What the hell is the Countess doing?
Actually, I dont really want to know.
#beautique
NEXT: Ramonas birthday party < Bethenny’s birthday party
Bethenny and Jules meet up for lunch.
Bethenny walks in with an umbrella handler.
Again, very relatable moment.
But the real revelation is that Jules admits that she had an eating disorder when she was younger.
Two minutes after she says this, Bethenny just starts crying.
She says it brings back memories of her mother.
Then, Jules says she and Michael want to set Bethenny up with a Greek shipping heir.
Note to Jules: I also would like to be set up with a Greek shipping heir.
Then, theres another lunch with Bethenny, Ramona, and Carole.
Bethenny says she doesnt trust Luann.
Luann did the whole Dont be uncool routine, which is real old already.
Also, its bizarre to hear them talk about the otherHousewives.
Its like Frank and Claire Underwood BOTH addressed the camera at the end ofHouse of Cards.
The big climax to the episode is Ramonas b-day party with like 50 of her friends.
Bethenny arrives first and is swarmed by Upper East Side ladies who probably can smell her youth.
They all sort of stare at her like vampires wearing Eileen Fisher.
Everyone is real into her haircut though.
Look for bobs to be big on UES this spring!
Ramona shows up late and is annoyed that there are other people wearing red.
Apparently red is now Ramonas color.
She already claimed blue.
Its like shes the modern day Betsy Ross.
Oh and her cake is a huuuuge Chanel purse.
When Sonja arrives, Jules comes up and swats an eyelash out of her eye.
Sonja hopes its an eyelash, but she had a big night the previous evening, so who knows!
So what shes saying is: Jules basically could have been grabbing a pube off Sonjas face.
Now that would be an episode ofThrees Company.
That might be a wee bit uncool.
At the same time, Jules is telling Carole how warm she finds Bethenny now.
So then, Luann starts tearing up, which I have not seen.
Its theHousewivesequivalent of a unicorn.
But the pair kinda make up.
Theres a little talk about John, but its sorta boring.
Dorinda, though, does give a really nice toast to Ramona at her b-day party.
But that bra party has done its damage.
