There are thousands of puns you could use in describing Puppy Bowl, fur sure.
And there are at least 84 reasons to tune into this years contest.
Will Team Fluff avenge last years 87-49 loss to Team Ruff?
Will the chicken cheerleaders out-spirit the porcine ones of the past?
What kind of penalty flags will be tossed?
And did we hear something about a tortoise streaker?
ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: Team Fluff was roughed up pretty bad by Team Ruff inPuppy Bowl XI.
Do they come out, paws swinging, ready to redeem themselves?
Theyre all style and no substance.
Its a closer game this year than its ever been.
We have these two Chihuahuas that were incredible.
We had a lab retriever that scored three touchdowns.
There was a springer-spaniel that was incredible.
The Chihuahuas were superfast.
And the shar-pei was an incredible defenseman.
Youll have some help from an assistant ref, Stanley the Skunk.
What does he lend to the proceedings?
He refuses to wear pants, which is ridiculous, because its part of the uniform.
He claims heisthe uniform, so thats been a point of debate between me and him since the beginning.
And all he does is have a go at ref block me, if you know what Im saying.
Ill make a call and hell want to see the video.
Hell talk to the press afterward and say, Thats not the way I would have gone.
… Its nice to have another set of eyes on the field because it was getting crazy.
The fact that they gave me an assistant who wasnt a human is reassuring for my job security.
This years cheerleaders are silkie chickens.
What different dynamic do they bring than, say, the bunny or pig cheerleaders of the past?
But silkie chickens are a little more refined, if you will, than your typical chicken.
Theyve got sort of an elegance.
And silkie chickens are originally from China and they bring with them an international appeal.
What was the craziest penalty flag youve thrown in a Puppy Bowl?
Theres a lot of the old faves paws interference, illegal lounging, excessive, bathing, excessive napping.
That one in particular gets called a lot.
I dont know if it would be the most egregious.
We used to call it pancaking, now we call it puppy pile-ups.
So between illegal furmations and puppy pileups, Id say weve got our hands full this year.
So you call illegal furmations when you dont like the way theyre arranged on the field?
There are very loose guidelines for when were saying formation.
What was the most ridiculously cute scene youve seen on the field?
This is a personal highlight for me; I would call it ridiculously cute but also heartwarming.
I understand there is a tortoise streaker.
Will we be very slowly shocked at what we see?
Puppy Bowl takes a couple days to shoot.
Heres a hilarious moment.
Weve got 15 cameras on it.
It was like watching paint dry.
But that said, its a pretty awesome moment.
Is it a female or male tortoise?
Heres the thing with tortoises: Its very hard to tell.
Believe me, as a ref, I see all types of animals, especially on the sidelines.
The easiest animal for me to tell, Boy or girl?
Especially when theyre lining up behind the punter and theyre snapping you the ball.
Whats the hardest part of the job?
The hardest job is catching everything.
Because theres obviously so much going on.
Its not a huge field its like 20 feet across and maybe 10 feet wide.
Its the size of the tiniest studio apartment in Manhattan.
But you will miss stuff.
So you have the director in your ear?
I do have the director in my ear, thank goodness, otherwise theyd have to hire more officials.
I mean, Ive missed dogs that are literally in the water bowl taking a bath.
Thats an illegal bathing penalty.
How do you deal with pooping and peeing?
Do we barely even see how bad it can get for you out there?
Its everywhere, its all the time, because its puppies being puppies.
I would say every five to 10 minutes theres an accident.
So to call something unpuppy-like is hilarious because theres nothing they wont do.
Lets talk about the humping.
Not as much as you would think.
I think because theyre puppies theyre a little more innocent so that stuff doesnt come into [play].
The fact is, these are kids as well.
Let the cute storm happen!
And the time to do that is near the beginning.
We go from larger to small breeds.
Because once you step onto that field, thats when theyre the most curious about you.
So yeah, you gotta do it right at the beginning.
It doesnt do a great job of creating a sense of authority for the ref.
I dunno, I see it in the NFL all the time.
There are those renegade refs who lie down to get licked by Tom Brady.
You barely feel those little tongues and its like getting a 1000 tiny wet kisses, right?
That would be the larger breed.
A puppy pileup only works on smaller breeds.
How and why did you audition to be a referee in Puppy Bowl?
I also officiated a small scrimmage between my two kids who at that point were ages 2 and 4.
So it was lot of cute little things to show why I would be good at reffing small mammals.
… Its been a great five years.
So I guess if I could have crafted the perfect job, this would have been it.
If you had to ref in the Super Bowl, how would you do?
Its ingrained in me that after every touchdown the winning players deserves at least a hug.
Thats what we do at Puppy Bowl.
I mean, Cam Newton would fit in great at Puppy Bowl.
Were all about the celebration.
Can you give us a preview of the halftime show?
Were in the Bay Area this year.
I should say theothergame is in the Bay Area this year.
So weve done a Bay Area-themed kitten halftime show.
There are 20 kittens here this year.
Theyre all available for adoption from shelters across the country.
Theyre all about the same age as the puppies.
Youve got your dances, youve got your crazy moves.
They changed the set.
It used to look more like a carpet, that kitty tree pop in set.
Now its a little more elaborate.
Theres more going on on the set.
You may or may not see a Golden Gate Bridge in the background to highlight where were at.
Forget the Super Bowl.
Why should people watch Puppy Bowl overKitten Bowl?
In all seriousness, were excited about the fact that another data pipe, another organization is promoting adoption.
But theyre all doing it under the guise of, Hey, theyre all up for adoption.
Contact your local shelter, so we applaud that.
We think its great.
Lets have somebody put out, gosh, a Gopher Bowl.
Lets have somebody put out a Goat Bowl.
Lets highlight every animal for two hours that could possibly want a home.
We do think theres room enough for everybody.
Weve got our Hall of Famer.
Yeah, I agree.
And intimation is in the sincerest form of flattery.
The first joke that went around was: It gives new meaning to the termcopycat.
