But Jinkins certainly hopes Disney changes its mind, and hes fully prepared for when they do.
Skeeters his roommate, Judys performing off Broadway, Porkchops (inexplicably) alive… and then theres Patti.
What happened to the love of Dougs life?
Credit: Nickelodeon
Thats where Jinkins tale about his surprise reconnection with the real Patti Mayonnaise comes in.
I was in New York working like crazy as a freelancer and just trying to make it there.
And I got a phone call in New York and its Patti.
And my hearts beating fast.
Shes like, I was at the reunion!
and I was like, Yeah…sorry…I had to work.
And she goes, I found out you live in New York.
Guess whatI do, too!
And she told me where she lives.
We lived across Central Park from each other.
And she says, Why dont you come over for dinner?
So now were in a Doug show.
Im like, what do I wear?
What will she look like!?
I was, at the time, very available.
I got my boobs!
It sounds like Im making this up, right?
And Im like, Yeah… yeah, uh huh!
Yeah, they always used to call me Flatty Patti, but look!
So this is all wonderful, right?
And then she wheels and goes, Oh, Jimmy, I want you to meet my husband.
And I dont even remember the rest of the evening.
There it is, friends: Doug Funnie and Patti Mayonnaise dont end up together.
At least, not right now.
But then again, maybe I do do it!
There isnt some rule!
Its not in the Bible.
Its just that most people dont.
I dont know the answer yet.
But oh, theres still one more twist to be had, and its classically, characteristicallyDoug.
And naturally, I guess maybe its a little predictable, but thats the one.
My guess is that it would be something like that.
Happy Tuesday, everyone!
