Well, thats a few Tonys too many.
The problems start when DiNozzo fills in for Gibbs at a swanky political event with Sens.
Kellys unpleasant assistant, Lisa, tries unsuccessfully to bounce him for not being on the list.
Credit: Robert Voets/CBS
Back at HQ, McGee glances at the stacks of bills and correctly pegs it as $20,000.
Before anybody can ask further questions, Gibbs comes running into the big orange room, calling DiNozzos name.
He just got word that an NCIS agent was killed in a car crash.
Who died DiNozzo asks.
You did, says Gibbs, ever the master of understatement.
This leads a testy Tony to cancel his credit cards while the team fills in the blanks.
But the ever-useful (and possibly extra-legal?)
As theyre snooping, a new blackmail demand lands in Bransfields inbox.
Theres another phony Tony, DiNozzo sighs.
Kellys is dead, but Bransfields and Mathesons are still out there.
Under questioning, the Fauxnys admit that theyre actors and a woman hired them from Craigslist.
She told me that Id get to play a government agent.
You know, like Jason Bourne.
Except, of course, I get Jason Boring, Little Fauxny says.
Then they pile on, calling DiNozzo pathetic.
You have no life, Big Fauxny says.
You have no wife, no kids, no hobbies.
Same job, same apartment.
I mean, nothing changes with you, Little Fauxny says.
What a fun conversation, DiNozzo snips.
Turns out, the woman who hired them is…drumroll…DiNozzos fizzled one-night stand from After Hours!
Unfortunately, DiNozzos no help in locating her.
While dusting, Abby finds his reversible cat/dog picture.
Its a long story, Tony says.
Yeah, you pretend to have a pet to impress women, Abby says.
So its a short story, Tony says.
And just like that, theyve got a fingerprint and a name: Elizabeth Elliot, former mortgage lender.
Bogus medical discharge that kept him out of Operation Desert Storm.)
NEXT: DiNozzo suffers a crisis of confidence
Oh, did you think DiNozzo had hit rock bottom before?
The officer doesnt care that DiNozzo insists it was stolenfromhim, notbyhim.
I believe you could just as easily be the thief in all this.
Youve got beady little red eyes like one, he snarls as he arrests DiNozzo for impersonating an officer.
Um, you should be.)
Anyway, he tells McGee he did a lot of thinking in the big house.
You werent even booked.
You sat in the lobby, McGee points out.
Time passed real slow, DiNozzo replies.
Then he gets serious, saying he feels like hed already lost his identity even before it was stolen.
But McGee reminds him that he survived the pneumonic plague (good times!)
and saved Gibbs from drowning (heck yeah!)
and is one of Tims best friends (awww!).
Okay, time for another sting.
Big Fauxnys wired up and sent in to meet with Elizabeth at a park as the team observes undercover.
Gibbs poses with a dog (does NCIS have rental pets for situations like this?
DiNozzos in the backseat ofhercar.
(Wait, how did they know which one was hers?
Eh, details!)
It was just under different circumstances.
Man, he really hasnogame.
This leads them to his mean assistant, Lisa, from the opening scene.
She and Elizabeth worked at the same mortgage company until the bubble burst in 2008.
Lisas the one who ran the first Fauxny off the road when he threatened to squeal.
Snitches get stitches, people!
In fact, Big Fauxnys more interested in the hot peppers for his sandwich.
So, this is the start of the Tony exit, right?
Hes not pathetic, but his eyes are opening to the fact that he needs a change.
The question is, was this episode the unbalanced force he needed, or is something even bigger coming?
And what will that change look like?
Three more episodes, people!
