The filmmakers were instructed to trim a few pie thrusts.

(Wouldn’t you love to read an MPAA memo?)

Turns out Chloe Sevigny’s orgasmat the hands of Hilary Swankwas simplyy too long.

American Pie (1999)

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Thankfully, it’s not as much of a problem on Broadway.

(Exhibit B would then have to beSwept Away.)

Vary

The Cooler(2003)

Pubic hair.

Sharon Stone, Basic Instinct | An erotic thriller about a bisexual (Sharon Stone) suspected of murdering her lover with an ice pick, this Paul Verhoeven film was pressured to tone

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Mario Bello’s pubic hair.

“The length of the shots has been trimmed, but not a single shot was taken out.”

This time, the problem was sexspecifically, the extended love scene between the male and female protagonist.

Hilary Swank, Chloë Sevigny, … | The tragic true story of a Midwestern teen who lived her life as a boy was initially hit with an NC-17 rating for ‘‘an intense

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Apparently, the ratings board drew the line at the golden shower.

Miramax hired Alan Dershowitz to plead its case.

After an appeal, though, the MPAA reversed course and grantedClerksan R rating.

Seth Rogen, Elizabeth Banks, … | Reportedly, the ratings board wasn’t happy with a couple of sex scenes featuring Kevin Smith regular Jason Mewes and former pornographic actress Katie Morgan. After

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But the MPAA instead had an issue with his threesome with two prostitutes.

(Or maybe it was his character’s obsession with Phil Collins.

Hard to tell.)

South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut | The film’s subtitle may be a bit of a misnomer, considering Matt and Trey were forced to make a number of cuts to satisfy the

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They’re only against oral sex on a woman by a man.

After public criticism, the board reversed its ruling without forcing the film to make any changes.

Madonna, Body of Evidence | If you were the prosecutor in the case against Madonna’s film career, this Razzie-winning Eszterhasian thriller manqué might be your Exhibit A. (Exhibit B would

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Jeremy Irons, Juliette Binoche, … | Director Louis Malle’s film, about a British Parliamentarian (Jeremy Irons) who finds himself sexually entangled with his son’s fiancé (Juliette Binoche), went from an NC-17

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Maria Bello, William H. Macy, … | Pubic hair. Mario Bello’s pubic hair. That — and the hint of female pleasure — is what landed this Vegas drama, about a walking bad-luck

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Heather Graham, Robert Downey Jr., … | Writer-director James Toback’s three-hander follows a lothario (Robert Downey Jr.) who’s confronted by his two ‘‘exclusive’’ girlfriends (Heather Graham, Natasha Gregson Wagner) in his spacious

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Gaby Hoffmann, Ashton Kutcher, … | This distaff teen sex comedy followed three high school girls keen on having their first orgasm. A scene in which one of the characters uses

Team America: World Police | The South Park guys once again ran afoul of the MPAA with their satirical marionette jingofest. This time, the problem was sex — specifically, the

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Kevin Smith, Brian O’Halloran, … | Kevin Smith’s underdog Sundance hit was nearly derailed by the MPAA, who slapped an early cut with the dreaded NC-17 rating for… get this: ‘‘Strong

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Christian Bale, American Psycho | The adaptation of Bret Easton Ellis’ controversial novel was loaded with nihilistic violence, like the scene where Christian Bale murdered a rival with an axe.

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Ryan Gosling, Michelle Williams, … | Last year proved that the MPAA is not against oral sex on a woman. They’re only against oral sex on a woman by a man.

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