Nuns on stripper poles!
See the full interview below, online for the first time.
ANDY COHEN: Madonna!
Credit: Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images
MADONNA:Im tired, not gonna lie.
Youre working your ass off, arent you?
Where are you right now?
Im in New York.
I mean, are you in your tub?
I wish I was in my bed.
If I got in my bed, though, I wouldnt get out.
Im in my office.
And are you in sweats?
Im in silk pajama shorts, if you must know.
Perfect, youre giving me full Madonna now!
Am I going to see dancing nuns on stripper poles?
Did somebody tell you that?
I saw the trailer.
Oops, so I guess the cats out of the bag.
Was that your idea?
I mean, yeah.
I just like the juxtaposition.
Thats one of the reasons that I love you.
I assume well be hearing Bitch, get off my pole while the nuns are on the stripper poles.
Mmmm, you might.
I dont want to give away the details.
I want people to be surprised.
How many hours a day are you rehearsing at this point?
What are you eating?
[Laughs] Anything I can get my hands on.
No, really, I have to keep eating so I have energy.
I eat food, you know, normal food.
I have a woman who follows me around.
I call her the food police.
Did you drink enough water?
Im like, Bitch, get off my pole!
By the way, can you cook?
Wow, were really jumping around.
No, its not one of my talents, Im sorry to say.
He just wants me to cook for him.
Im like, Okay, Ill get to that.
I promise you, when this tours over with, Im gonna cook for you.
I loved seeing Rocco on the last tour.
Are we gonna see him doing anything on this one?
I think hes probably gonna work behind the scenes.
Hes not interested in performing on stage with me right now.
Theres way cooler things.
Your mom is not that cool when youre 14.
So do you still have theTruth or Daremother-hen thing going on with the dancers?
Theyre my little babies.
Tell me how you balance hits and new material on your set list.
Well, its tricky.
And now I do.
Youve been teasing your set list on Instagram.
Yeah, of course I have.
So will I hear Dress You Up?
Wow, youre giving me good info!
Now stop right there!
Like whenever Im on holiday.
Whats your reaction to them?
Are you addicted to Instagram a little bit?
No, not really.
I could live without it.
But its an important part of my work now.
Cant ignore social media.
I love that you share old photos of you with your fans.
You seem like someone who doesnt like to look back, but I love it when you do.
I worked with the greatest and the best and the finest.
It also feels like a time that will never happen again.
Do you know what I mean?
So it makes me feel really blessed.
Its trite at this point to say that you reinvent yourself every few years.
But I wonder, why is it important for you to keep creating new stuff?
Because as an artist I have something new to say every time I make a record.
I think that thats kind of a no-brainer.
Im not a greatest hits kind of girl.
I mean, Picasso didnt paint the same paintings over and over again.
What is the best and worst part of touring?
Youre like, Yeah, just shut the f up.
No, no, I got it!
Thats the endless question I get: Why do you keep doing it?
You obviously dont have to.
But to me, thats a sexist thing to say.
No one said to Picasso when he was 80, Why are you painting?
Why is that sexist, though?
Because hes a man and nobody asked him that, okay?
But because Im a woman, people ask me.
Does anyone ask Mick Jagger why he keeps going on tour?
Yeah, I actually think they do.
I dont think so.
No, people in New York are sick of me.
Are you fing kidding me?
Youre the queen of New York.
Do you have a favorite city to perform in?
Well, in America, my favorite city is New York, obviously.
Cause its my hometown.
Even though theyre over you?
You know the old saying: Youre a prophet everywhere but in your own country.
Is there a city where youve performed that you will not return to?
I dont think I should go back to Moscow or St. Petersburg.
You stirred some s there, but God bless you for doing it.
Do you think they would have you back?
Why would I even want to perform in a place where being gay is [criminalized]?
Whats your current favorite song onRebel Heart?
Well, I love Ghosttown.
I love Bitch Im Madonna, and I love Illuminati, Holy Water.
The darker, crazier, more controversial songs.
Have you seen any tours in the past year that have inspired you?
On Instagram, you welcomed Taylor Swift to New York when she was here.
I didnt get the chance to go see her show.
I was kinda bummed.
Going to shows requires free time.
Whos the last person I saw?…
I remember you really heaped a lot of praise on Beyonces last tour.
Thats probably the last big show Ive seen, and that was really good.
What was good about it?
Shes a great performer and she puts on a show.
Shes a professional, you know what I mean?
She ticks all the boxes.
Shes great live, and all the stuff around her, its complete entertainment.
And she gives it her all, so I appreciate that.
By the way, what were you gonna do with Taylor Swift on stage?
Im not gonna tell you, because we might still do it.
You just want to know everything.
Im just gonna send my diary over to your house, okay?
Open it up, read it, send it back to me, okay?
I want to know fing everything!
Skip over all the parts about who I have crushes on and things like that.
Theres no way Im skipping that part.
I mean, I always do.
I call them my stage baes.
But thats it, its just on the stage.
You keep it on the stage.
That would be messy, right?
Yeah, of course, and that actually makes it more electric, you know?
When was the last time you saw your 1991 docTruth or Dare?
Jeez, I dont know.
Ive seen bits and pieces from it.
I sort of gag when I watch it, cause Im like, Oh my God, I cant.
Its hard to watch myself do anything.
I cant even stand to watch myself in concert, like my last tour.
I just dont like to watch it.
But I think maybeTruth or Dare, I could possibly revisit it right now.
Can you call me when you do that, kindly?
Lets watch it together.
I want to film you watchingTruth or Dareand release that.
Me just going, I cant believe I said that.
Oh my God, I cant believe I did that.
The arrogance…
Well, the arrogance was brilliant.
The shade, the arrogance…
The shade was thrown!
Im afraid to watch it.
I just think I was a horrible brat, thats what Im afraid of.
As a student of yours, it seems like youre having more fun on stage recently.
Maybe its just that you smile more.
That could be it.
Im very invested in having a good time with this show.
You know, not beating myself up if I make a mistake.
So…grill or no grill on stage?
Its really hard to sing with a grill in your mouth.
You end up lisping, and putting your teeth together is actually essential to singing well.
So as much as I love a grill, it probably wont be in my mouth when Im singing.
I will be there both nights of Madison Square Garden.
I cannot wait.
Thank you so much.
Make yourself noticeable in the audience so I can bump and grind you.
