The two comedy kingpins star in Illumination’s animated pet caper, in theaters Friday.
This is the best conversation between two comedy icons talking about dogs that youll read today.
Before you see C.K.
Credit: Illumination Entertainment/Universal Pictures; Mike Coppola/Getty Images; Andrew Toth/Getty Images
and Carvey in animated action on Friday, EW brought the two old friends (C.K.
ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: Childhood dogs what are your memories?
CARVEY:I have a story but its too dark.
Louis, go ahead.
:Mine is, too.
Go ahead, Dana.
CARVEY:Well, we had a cute little white poodle.
So then my oldest brother, who was a little…eccentric, shall we say?
He was always clumsy chipped his tooth, lost part of his finger.
Anyway, he backed out to go to work when he was 16 or 17 and just…. C.K.
:Oh my God.
CARVEY:Lights out.
And then Boots, later on.
Boots, we found in the garage, and ants were in his mouth and he was all rigid.
No, Im just kidding, thats a joke.
Premature burial is something that worries me a lot.
:A dog has to half-expect that in its life, I think?
CARVEY:I think being dead is underrated.
I envy the dead.
Its very peaceful towards the end.
:I think so, too.
I couldnt do it.
But she got me a dog anyway, and the dog hated me very much.
Yeah, that dog hated me.
CARVEY:[Laughs]
C.K.
:I dont think this is going to help sell this movie.
CARVEY:Its called a soft sell.
But those are just true stories!
I can tell a happy one.
We had a cat and a dog at one point.
They were the greatest friends, this kitten and this pup.
It was the cutest thing Id ever seen.
:Did the moon landing have anything to do with it?
Or are you just placing this?
CARVEY:No, Im just placing it.
NEXT: A dog loves you, but if you stop feeding him, hell eat you.
If you die, hell eat half the body.
[pagebreak]
C.K.
:I have a dog now.
And shes not that easy to deal with.
But this dog, we just gave her Prozac.
Thats how we trained her.
We just went right to it.
My dog is on Prozac.
CARVEY:Do you cut the pill in half?
:She gets a dog dosage of Prozac.
Were giving her Prozac.
It took no convincing.
CARVEY:Well, that sounds good for a cat because of the constant cleaning.
Some sort of OCD medication because a cat is a little over-the-top with the constant licking and cleaning.
Give me a little communication.
CARVEY:Human lives matter.
EW: Which elements of dog lifestyle would suit you, and which would you not excel at?
:I think that the pros and cons of being a dog are pretty clear.
Other people tell you where to go and what to do.
They dont know theyre getting old!
And they dont know its towards the end.
I mean, they never think, I used to get by on 16 hours of sleep a day.
Now if I dont get 19, Im a wreck.
And they have a god in their life, which is their master.
:But I dont know that its a god-like thing.
If God died, we wouldnt, like, eat his face.
Do you know what I mean?
A dog loves you, but if you stop feeding him, hell eat you.
If you die, hell eat half the body.
But a dog might wait a couple days.
In like, Germany or something?
We cant really know.
Well never really, really know.
I think thats one of the reasons people are fascinated by their animals.
And they sit there in the room with you and they look from one person to the other.
You know when a dog is like in the room with you?
And hes just looking at everyone, and you just have no idea what hes thinking.
Hes a total silent participant.
Its a strange thing.
CARVEY:Human beings want to make their animals human.
But I didnt touch the dog!
I have nothing against the dog!
:She was angry because you didnt enable her dog to bite you on the leg or something.
He just wants to play.
One dog attacked me.
So I have to wear different clothing to make this dog comfortable?
:Yeah, because its your problem.
Its not the dogs problem.
I think its a very special thing.
[pagebreak]
EW: What was recording your first animated film like?
Did you have to channel dog in the booth?
:I asked them to give me the other animals pictures and put them in front of me.
I never tried to feel like a dog.
Its more in trying to feel what I felt about the other animals, you know what I mean?
CARVEY:Basically I was doing the Grumpy Old Man fromSaturday Night Live, lets be honest.
:I think it was fun.
Theres definitely a lot of running in place, trying to sound like youre running.
CARVEY:I would always break into a sweat.
By the end of a session, I would be really sweating, and I dont sweat that easily.
:Well, youre so much more dedicated to your work than I am.
EW: What did this movie shift in your mind about pets?
They go to the dog run and have to deal with each other.
They see each other on the sidewalk.
And they hear each other through the walls.
And also, they have this particular relationship with their master.
These are just two people living alone.
A lonely person living in a little place with a dog.
Thats a very special relationship.
Its not a dog in a backyard chasing a squirrel.
I think its a very special thing.
and Kevin Hart, and theyre always like, Wow!
And the other thing is just everyone casually going, Well, hows it going to do?
And theyre like, Well, its trending aboveMinions!
Because guess what, people love their pets!
So its more about human beings loving animals.
Thats what I took away from it.
I think it was very clever.
And I hope I didnt ruin it, basically!
:Yeah, thats what I always think.
But go see it and find out!
EW: Any final wisdom on doghood?
:People should neuter or spay their dogs.
Also, which shouldnt be said in this interview, but people shouldnt have pets!
We should make another planet.
Land of the dogs.
CARVEY:Thats the next movie, man.The Secret Life of Pets in Australia.
Thats the sequel, baby [laughs].
I like the idea that my dog in the movie was paralyzed.
I was a little surprised.
It seemed slightly edgy.
:I did like that about that character.
Thats a little bit of a groundbreaker, I like it.
CARVEY:But yeah, no one should ever own a pet.
:[Laughs]
CARVEY:It was fun to be part of something this big.
:I definitely did have fun making this.
It was really fun.
CARVEY:And it just seemed like a real quality movie.
Ive done some pretty silly stuff in my career, and this one seemed like quality.
This is designed to be a heat-seeking box office success, and it operates on all cylinders.
And secretly, the back-end that I was able to negotiate shocked me.
The gross points I got at this point in my career are ridiculous.
The Secret Life of Petsopens in theaters on Friday.
A version of this story appeared inEntertainment Weeklyissue #1417/1418, availablehere.
