Or did I imagine it?
Im hoping I might have when it comes again.
But the knock is harder and louder even than before with Karen.
I make my way over carefully to the foyer.
I can hear the shower upstairs.
Gideon cant hear a thing.
Not even if I scream.
He has on one of his trade- mark skintight T-shirtsshort-sleeved, despite the coldand slouched-just-right jeans.
Because thats the way Jasper talks.
Even thoughno one talks like that, not even in Long Beach, California, where Jaspers from.
They were huge and loud, deliberately trying to draw attention to themselves.
He didnt make threats, or hassle anyone.
He was the calm and quiet sun around which the rest of them revolved.
But there was this energy underneath all that calm, tight and wound.
Like inside he was a coiled spring no one wanted to see snap.
Because Jasper had exploded at least once already.
With that one legendary punch.
All the freshman girls couldnt have cared less about Jaspers supposed assault and battery, though.
Actually, I think it might have made them love him even more.
Hes from L.A., they said.
I heard he has a movie agent.
I heard his whole family moved here so he could play ice hockey.
I heard he slept with twelve girls last year.All of them seniors.
What an ass.Thats what Im thinking as I step over to the door.
Because I already know that Jasper showing up on my doorstep isnt some kind of accident.
Its proof enough for me that he had something to do with whats going on with Cassie.
What shes up to.
Or maybe why she left.
But I hesitate once my hand is on the doorknob.
Maybe hes here fishing for what other people know.
I should play dumb.
Jasper looks surprised when I finally pop kick open the door.
And, annoyingly, up close he is even better-looking than I remembered.
Hes not my bang out, too pretty and too perfectly imperfect.
The way she always wanted to feel.
I didnt, um, think that anybody was home.
Jaspers eyes flick up to my hacked hair then.
They snap right back down.
Well, here I am, I say.
Can I come in?
Id rather explain inside.
No.But I cant say that while pretending I dont know why hes here.
I step to the side but keep him blocked into the foyer.
I dont want him any farther in the house, or my life.
I just want him to tell me what he knows about Cassie and then be on his way.
And I am really not interested in having one of my episodes in front of him.
Jasper crosses and uncrosses his arms, lifts his shoulders even closer to his ears.
Now he officially looks guilty.
I press my lips together and swallow hard.
He didnt do somethingtoCas- sie, did he?
I am not a member of the Jasper Salt fan club.
But when I told Cassies mom that I didnt think he would hurt her, I meant it.
She wasnt in school?
Jasper somehow walks right past me, uninvited, into my living room.
Thats the kind of guy he is: convinced that hes welcome everywhere.
I dont know for sure.
We were in a fight, he says, and kind of defensively.
I texted her this morning, but I was still kind of pissed.
So I dodged her at school.
Later Maia told me Cassie must have bagged school anyway.
Have you seen her, or heard from her or anything?
I havent talked to Cassie in days, I say.
And he must know that.
Why would you think Id have heard from her?
Because I got this.
Jasper digs his phone out of his pocket and hands it to me.
Theres a text from Cassie open on the screen: Go to Wylies house.
Thats the whole message.
You have no idea why shed tell me to come here?
It actually sounds like he thinksImthe one whos hid- ing something.
Did you tell her mom that you got this?
I got this one.
Dont tell anyone you heard from me.
Okay, but
He reaches for the phone again, tapping in search of yet another message.
He holds up the phone a third time.
I messed up again.
If you call my mom, shell call the police.
And you
know what will happen.
kindly, just go to Wylies.
What the hell is going on?
I ask, and I sound angry.
But I am sure this is somehow at least a little bit his fault.
I have no idea whats going on.
Cassie has been acting weird lately.
What does that mean: weird?
Are you asking me the definition of the word weird?
I just glare at him.
At least its obvious now.
He doesnt like me either.
Like distant or whatever, he goes on.
I dont know why.
And what does she mean about the police: you know what will happen?
I cant tell you, Jasper says.
So you might come here and pump me for information, but not give any away?
Its justshe was really embarrassed about some stuff that went down, he says finally.
She wouldnt want you, of all people, to know.
Screw you, Jasper Salt,I want to shout.You dont know anything about me.
Things that might help find Cassie.
Trust me, I know lots of embarrassing things about Cassie, I say.
We have been friends a really long time.
And there are definitely secrets I know that Jasper does not.
Things that Cassie would have been way too embarrassed to tell him.
For instance, maybe Cassie peed her bed again, but this time her mom caught it.
She did that after one of her first hangouts with her new friends before she and Jasper started talking.
She was really freaked out about it, especially because shed also blacked out at the party.
Didnt even remember getting home.
Blacking out had been one of her dads signature moves.
Cassie was convinced he didnt remember half the messed-up things hed done.
It was how Cassie managed not to hate him.
Anything he didnt remember didnt get held against him.
But even blacking out didnt scare Cassie straight the way Id hoped it would.
Instead, the next time it happened, she decided it was funny.
I know you guys are close, but Jasper looks down at his hands, presses his fingertips together.
She specifically said she didnt want you to know this one thing.
She was worried youd look down on her, I guess.
And I have to respect that, right?
You cannot be serious, I laugh.
Or sort of laugh.
Jasper holds up his hands.
Im not saying you would look down on her.
But I can tell from the way he says it that he totallydoesthink that.
Thats just what Cassie was afraid of.
Shes not always the best judge of people.Himsaying that tomemakes me want to spit.
And she was already talking about sending Cassie to some crazy boot camp boarding school.
He takes a deep breath.
That had not even occurred to me.
What do you mean kidnapped?
Because now Cassie getting snatched off the street is all I can think about.
As I reach for my phone, I feel like it might bite me.
kindly, Wylie, I need your help, the text reads.
I messed up big.
I need u to come get me.
I sent Jasper so he can drive.
But the person I really need is you.
I take a shaky breath.
At least shes okay enough to text.
And messed up big does not sound like being kidnapped.
What does it say?
Jasper asks, peering over my shoulder.
I need your help.
I messed up big, I say, feeling this sadness sink over me.
Like Im finally realizing that Cassie might never be okay.
I dont have my license.
Of course, there is one additional, teeny-tiny problem with this plan.
A problem that Im trying not to think about.
This is more of a brick wall.
There is no way Im going to be able to get myself to leave the house.
Havent stepped outside in three weeks.
Then just taking a walk was pretty uncomfortable.
I am a full-on agoraphobic.
Come get her where?
She messed up, thats all it said.
Like the text you got.
What the fuck, he says.
How do we even know thats really her texting?
It could be anybody.
Maybe somebody stole her phone.
Of course, hes right.
And him being suspicious like that defi- nitely goes down in his not-guilty column.
But Im not ready to let him off the hook completely.
Not until I know whats really going on.
I turn back down to my phone.
What are you writing?
Jasper asks as my fingers fly over my phones touch screen.
A question, I say.
To see to it its really Cassie.
Are you pulling a Janice?
Its the first inside joke that popped into my head.
An oldie, but a goodie.
It makes me miss Cassie just thinking about it.
We had specific conversations about Jackie turning our two- some into a threesome.
That was, until we realized that Jackie lied abouteverything.
Including stupid pointless things like the color of the socksshe had on.
It was hard not to feel bad for her.
She must have really needed all those lies for something.
But Id written the wrong name nowJaniceon purpose.
If it is really Cassie, shell mention me using the wrong name.
It takes a little longer for the reply this time.
No, not pulling a Jackie.
kindly, for now head north on 95.
Then take 93 north.
More details 2 come.
hey, I need you.
And saying it makes me feel much, much worse.
Okay, Jasper says.
So what do we do?
I could call Karen, tell her that Cassie has gotten herself into some mess again.
Or I could be the friend that Cassie has asked me to be: someone she can trust.
I look up from my phone and straight at Jasper.
