There were a bunch of clowns on a stage on Tuesday night, jabbering about politics.
No, not the GOP debate in Milwaukee.
So he would tweet in the middle of the night, Jon Stewarts real name is Leibowitz.
Credit: Ilya S. Savenok/Getty Images
Why does he run away from his heritage?
You know, because thats what I think most presidents would do.
I remember Lincoln used to drunk tweet: Hey, emancipate this, you f!'
I guess hes not really a bear; hes more like an insane chimpanzee.
Im sorry, did you say chimpanzee?
We did, dont worry about that.
Youll have two minutes for an opening statement.
you’re able to talk for a bit after each question.
Also, the chimpanzee will have a handgun duct-taped to himself and hes addicted to crack.
I dont think I want to be on stage with a chimpanzee thats on crack.
Oh, hes not on crack.
Hes addicted to crack.
We havent given him crack for weeks.
And hes in a terrible mood about it.'
Trump absorbed the brunt of it, but Stewart didnt discriminate.
He clearly is paying attention to the presidential campaigns during his sabbatical.
He credited Dr. Ben Carson with the greatest juxtaposition between volume of voice and craziness of sh he says.
And he never quite took Vice President Joe Biden seriously as a stealth candidate.
Have you watched him during the State of the Union?
Its like watching a guy work a sales convention.
Oh, hey, whats happening?
Nice to see you.
Whats up, governor?
Im done with this sh, he insisted after his final rant.
Done, done, done.
Glad to see him hit 95 on the gun after two months off the grid.
Like Stewart, he wore a shaggy beard and threw some barbs at Trump.
Heres the thing, folks, he began innocently enough.
When you have a TV show…and you will.
Everyones going to get one.
Youreallgoing to get a show.
Its going to be like jury duty.
When President Trump gets elected, hes going to make a law: youhaveto have a show.
I did not see that coming, he said.
Thats against your popular understanding of the drunk man:I love you!
I bloody love you!…
But I cannot justify continued expenditure on the welfare state!
Youre living in a dream world!
Its a lovely idea in theory, but it doesnt work!
People need incentives.'
Springsteen, who performed several solo songs with his guitar, steered clear of politics with his remarks.
Just imagine how high the bidding wouldve goneif Chris Christie had been in the room?
