I just couldnt look myself in the mirror any further.
And if its good enough for the Biebs, its good enough for me.
Do you have any previous experience being roasted?
Credit: Mark Davis/WireImage
For my 50th birthday, I decided I wanted to be roasted by my favorite people.
It was a really great group Amy Poehler, Chris Pratt, Aziz Ansari, and Rob Riggle.
It was so fun, so I like the process.
How are you prepping?
Have you practiced crying on the inside or your courtesy laugh for a joke that cuts too deep?
Are there any jokes that youre dreading?
David said, Oh, I totally understand.
Believe me, no ones going to talk aboutDr.
And what kinds of jokes are you hoping that people make?
Like anything in comedy, I love the unexpected.
That and being as mean as humanly possible.
Did you tell the producers that certain subjects are off-limits, or did you just say, Fire away?
You cant be a py about this.
It has to be a free-fire zone thats the fun of it.
Want to workshop any of your jokes about David Spade right now?
I mean, you noticed that Rob Riggle is not the Roast Master.
Im not fing around.
I definitely wanted to have somebody that I could physically overpower if I had to.
Peyton Manning, Rob Riggle, and Jeff Ross are among the roasters.
Which do you fear the most?
Whoever seems like theyre the least likely candidate is the one you have to fear the most…
I will say that if I had to pick the No.
1 person I would most love to have and the No.
1 person that would never in a million years do it it wouldve been Peyton.
And hes doing it.
So, I announced his retirement, and hes going to preside over the evening that will actuallybemy retirement.
Why dont we kick off the roast right here?
Rob Lowe, rip the hell out of the Rob Lowe.
You know the pretty jokes are coming.
But that was a pretty gentle self-roast.
Would Bill Belichick talk to you about the offensive formations he was thinking of using in the Super Bowl?
He wouldnt…. And thats where Im at.
So, youre playing it close to the vest?
Im trying to lower expectations.
A version of this story appeared in the Sept. 2 issue ofEntertainment Weekly,currently on newsstands.
