They’ve done a great service for their fellow man.''

So, get out your checkbook.

William Atticus Parker, thank you so much from your mother.''

‘‘I swear I don’t swear anymore on stage.’’ —Best Actress in a Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy for The Rose and Best New Female Star

Ron Galella/WireImage

I used to think it was corny when people would say that people were looking down on you.

I didn’t believe it.

But I got a feeling.''

Brad Pitt, Golden Globes | ‘‘I’d like to thank the makers of Kaopectate. They’ve done a great service for their fellow man.’’ —Best Actor in a Supporting Role in a

Mark J. Terrill/AP

It came to 172 names.

I’m just going to draw out three at random and everyone else can just lump it.''

I refer of course to the anus and testicles of my costar Ken Davitian.''

Christine Lahti, Golden Globes | Christine Lahti had to be fetched from the ladies' room to claim her Best Actress in a TV Drama prize (for Chicago Hope ). Cracked

Jeffrey Mayer/WireImage.com

you’ve got the option to find a lot of people who don’t like you there.

Welcome to post-racial America!

I’m the face of post-racial America!

Golden Globes, Jack Lemmon, … | ‘‘I feel like being an artist is all about giving, and I’d like to give this to you, Mr. Jack Lemmon.’’ —Best Actor in a

Jeff Kravitz/FilmMagic.com

Deal with it, Cate Blanchett!''

I celebrate this award with every person who’s ever been touched.

It’s now time to tell.

Golden Globes, Jim Carrey | ‘‘I’m the establishments I once rejected.’’ —Best Actor in a Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy for Man on the Moon Watch it here

Jeffrey Mayer/WireImage.com

And it’s okay.''

I’m sorry everyone’s been so gratuitous.

‘It was a collaboration.

Jack Nicholson, Golden Globes | Jack Nicholson and the Golden Globes have been good to each other over the years. He’s won six trophies and a lifetime achievement award, and

Robert Mora/Getty Images

We all did this together.’

Certainly not going to thank Warner Bros., Alan Horn, and my god… Robinov, these guys.

They needed me!Avatarwas going to take us to the cleaners!

Meryl Streep, Golden Globes | ‘‘I’ve just been nominated 789 times, and I was getting so settled in over there for a long winter’s nap.’’ —Best Actress in a Supporting

Reed Saxon/AP

If they didn’t have me, we didn’t have a shot, buddy.''

That they can’t be who they, or have what they want because of who they are.

Well, screw that, kids.''

Mary-Louise Parker, Golden Globes | ‘‘Janel Maloney just told me she would pay me $1,000 if I thanked my newborn son for my boobs looking so good in this dress.

Chris Haston/NBC/WireImage

Benjamin choreographed the movie.

He’s the best actor.

It’s not true.

Jamie Foxx, Golden Globes | Some two hours into a disappointingly tame Globes telecast, and suddenly there was Jamie Foxx bringing a much-needed spark to the proceedings. His beautiful, meandering

Kevin Winter/Getty Images

He totally wants to sleep with me!’’

Best Actress in a Motion Picture, Musical or Comedy forSilver Linings PlaybookWatch it here

Steve Carell | ‘‘I didn’t expect to win, so I didn’t write anything. But my wife did and handed me something…. ‘To Nancy, my precious wife, who put

Mark J. Terrill/AP

Hugh Laurie, Golden Globes | Accepting the award for Best Actor in a Drama for his grouchy doctor role on Fox’s House , Hugh Laurie noted that he had 172

Kevin Winter/Getty Images

Golden Globes, Sacha Baron Cohen | ‘‘I saw a dark part of America, a part of America that rarely sees the light of day. I refer of course to the anus

Paul Drinkwater/NBCU Photo Bank via AP Images

‘‘If you ever start to feel too good about yourself, there’s this thing called the Internet. You can find a lot of people who don’t

Paul Drinkwater/NBC/AP

Tracy Morgan, Golden Globes | ‘‘Tina Fey and I had an agreement that if Barack Obama won, I would speak for the show from now on. Welcome to post-racial America!

Chris Haston/NBC/AP

Mo’Nique, Golden Globes | ‘‘I celebrate this award with all the Preciouses, with all the Marys. I celebrate this award with every person who’s ever been touched. It’s now

Paul Drinkwater/NBC/AP

Robert Downey Jr., Golden Globes | ‘‘I don’t have anybody to thank. I’m sorry everyone’s been so gratuitous. ‘It was a collaboration. We all did this together.’ Certainly not going to

Paul Drinkwater/NBC/AP

Chris Colfer, Golden Globes | ‘‘To all the amazing kids that watch our show. And the kids that our show celebrates, who are constantly told no by the people in

Paul Drinkwater/NBC/AP

?Thank you to Benjamin, who is helping me continue this creation of creating more life. Benjamin choreographed the movie. And also you might remember him

Paul Drinkwater/NBC/AP

Jennifer Lawrence’s reputation for being off-the-cuff and outspoken paid off in spades tonight as she couldn’t resist taking the stage to collect her statuette for

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