Cheers, chills, and the sound of online fan theories imploding.
Though in some respects, “No One” could be short for “No One Shown Fighting.”
TheGoTfan theories tend to be impressively clever and fun to consider.
Credit: Macall B. Polay/HBO
“My son… my first born son… my child king,” she weeps.
Wounded Arya finds Lady Crane, who fortunately has nursing skills.
Lady Crane also offers to let Arya run away and join their acting troupe.
I’d sort of love to see this.
What if Arya ended up playing fake Arya in the play?
Or maybe she could be Sansa and just troll her sister’s reputation in every scene.
Lancel is leading a group of men from the Faith Militant.
He gives her the option of the easy way or the hard way.
Some brave dolt tries to put an ax into Mountainstein, and he’s dealt with amusingly.
The Faith Militant decide it’s wise to leave.
She won that round.
Also: Does Mountainstein eat?
Did Mountainstein really taking a vow of silence or is he incapable of speech?
If that wasn’t bad enough, Tommen does the worse thing he’s ever done.
He says trial by combat is now banned throughout the Seven Kingdoms.
That means The Mountain cannot defend Cersei in her upcoming trial.
Ser Loras is screwed, too.
But nobody is more disappointed than Cersei.
See the look of shock, hurt, and betrayal ebbing across her face.
Her own son just likely condemned her to death.
Does this mean that Tommen is now officially worse than Joffrey?
After, creepy Qyburn says his little birds investigated some rumor and there is “much more.”
If you don’t know what this means, that’s okay.
It’s meant to be cryptic.
Riverrun:Brienne and Pod arrive at the Lannister hornet’s nest and are brought to Jaime.
Bronn also delivers the unspoken romantic subtext between Jaime and Brienne in his usual blunt terms.
Jaime and Brienne’s reunion is perfect.
At first they’re frustratingly formal.
Both are on a mission, and have people they care about counting on them.
So they can’t reminisce and have to keep their game faces on.
Brienne wants to get The Blackfish and his forces to help Sansa.
“Have you met him?
He’s more stubborn than you,” Jaime says.
Brienne wants a chance to talk him out.
Such a move would be taking her oath to an extreme, even for Brienne.
She tries to Luke-Vader him, with an “I know there is still honor in you” line.
Jaime gives her his word that if she persuades the Blackfish, he’ll give them safe passage.
She’s the only person Jaime meets out here who actually thinks his word is worth something.
She tries to give him back his Valyrian sword, Oathkeeper.
It’s served its purpose.
“It will always be yours.”
Just before she leaves, her chin starts to do a Carrie Mathison tremble.
We’re practically howling:Hug!
So Jaime has a chat with his hostage Edmure, who finally gets a chance to speak this season.
Since Edmure is the heir to Riverrun, the castle is technically his, not The Blackfish’s.
Jaime recognizes the hostage the Freys were threatening to kill is actually far more useful alive.
This is the real stand-out scene of this episode.
“You imagine yourself a decent person,” Edmure says.
“After you massacred my family… how do you live with yourself?”
While Jaime is just brutally honestand honest about his brutality.
Either way, the Lannisters will eventually win.
Edmure breaks down hearing this because he can tell Jaime means every word of it.
So Jaime sways hima very rare victory for the Kingslayer, and with zero bloodshed, too.
This is not the Jaime of season 2.
Previously he would have just had the army lay siege to the castle.
The Blackfish does his Ackbar impression (“It’s a trap!
“), but it doesn’t stop Edmure turning over the castle to the Lannisters.
The Blackfish decides to stick around and have one last sword fight rather than flee.
“I haven’t had a proper sword fight in years,” he says.
Brienne and Pod grab a rowboat and take off.
Jaime spots them but doesn’t tell his men.
It’s probably too much to hope that they might run into Gendry.
Riverlands:The Hound tracks those murderers from last week.
They end up in the hands of Beric Dondarrion and Thoros of Myr.
We haven’t seen these camping warrior-hippies since season 3.
There’s some debate about who gets to kill them.
I like this Hound.
We suspect he’ll do it.
What else is there to do?
NEXT:A girl drops the mic
Meereen:Varys leaves on a secret mission.
We also don’t know what that’s about.
A lot of mysterious things happening tonight.
Then, Grey Worm and Missandei drink as Tyrion prods them to try and tell jokes.
Grey Worm is basically a Vulcan.
And then: Outside, the slavers begin attacking the city.
Grey Worm and Missandei were right all alongyou don’t use the slavers, they use you.
Braavos:The Waif finds Arya and horrifically kills Lady Crane.
Suddenly, the chase is on: Arya leaps out the window.
The sequence is thrilling.
The Termi-Waif chases Parkour Arya through the streets.
I like the Waif’s grim smile as she runs after her, and the rousing score.
Arya’s wounds reopen and she’s leaving a blood trail.
We think this is disastrous for her.
Arya knows if she fights The Waif, she will lose.
We don’t see the fight.
This is emotionally frustrating, but I admire the movethe room is supposed to be pitch black.
Arya returns, victorious, to the House of Black and White.
Jaqen H’ghar isn’t angry with her for killing his other disciple.
He’s not exactly the throw in to get emotionally attached.
If anything, he’s proud.
Arya: “A girl is Arya Stark of Winterfelland I’m going home.”
Even Jaqen can’t resist a little smirk.
And that’s it for the week.
Like the last two episodes, the tension in the narrative bow was drawn further back this week.
More “No One” coverage:Read ourinterview with Maisie Williams about her big Waif showdown.
Plus, we have an interview with Nikolaj Coster-Waldau and Gwendoline Christietalking about Jaime and Brienne’s touching reunion.
