Boxing, morphine, and threesomes.
For the past few weeks,Empirehas really lost the plot.
Remember that FBI raid?
Credit: Chuck Hodes/Fox
Remember that Apex deal?
Remember how Porsha got Cookie arrested and yet still remains gainfully employed by Lyon Dynasty?
If not, no need to worry.
None of this seasons narrative arcs lasts more than a few weeks.
The writers dont even seem to care if the twists make sense anymore.
In the past, Cookie has always been a savvy businesswoman and a great judge of character.
They steal one anothers artists and smother each other with pillows every chance they get.
Anyway, I dont suspect that Laz will have a long-term story line onEmpire.
All Hakeem has to do is catch the guy with his shirt off, and the jig is up.
Maybe were due for yet another pregnancy scandal?
Mid-season finale prediction: Mama Lyon will announce that shes having another cub.
Most tweetable quote:Im hungry!
We ate everything… [Gives Laz a seductive look] Youate everything.
What about drugging that same executive with morphine so you can ensure the deal goes his way?
For instance, Lucious just recently bought Apex, securing control of the urban radio market.
Didnt he learn anything fromJay Z?
Huey tells Lucious he needs to dig deeper for his own verse on the track.
What, boom boom, bang bang isnt deep enough?
All of this soul-searching leads Lucious to yet another sepia-toned flashback to his childhood.
Kelly Rowland delivers another powerful performance as Lucious bipolar mother, but these flashbacks have diminishing returns.
We already know that Lucious mom has a history of mental illness.
(Between the longhorns and the gun, Im beginning to think that everyone onEmpirehas a secret tattoo.)
Surely, there are deeper places to dig.
Most tweetable quote:We dont fight.
Cookie has even more good advice for Hakeem, urging him to promote Laura himself.
People stop on street corners to belt out songs every day in New York.
No one would ever stop and stare in real life.
Most tweetable quote:Anything needs to be negotiated, Im the one to negotiate, says Hakeem.
And youre in my negotiating chair.
The slightly longer version?
Lucious convinces him to sleep with Deputy Mayor Alvarez to to make it get Fredas gang charges dropped.
Most GIF-worthy moment:Reenacting his last suicide attempt with a finger-gun pointed at his head
