But wait, theres more: Edyta and her legs are back!
Sashas been released from Crab Duty to become a Pro Partner again!
Geraldo Rivera is… here.
Credit: Adam Taylor/ABC
Get ready, people.
Your newDWTSrecapper is a crier.
Well save that for Most Memorable Year week.
Enough chitchat, lets see what the new crop of contenders has to offer.
The pairing of Kim and Sasha is spot on, and the two click right away.
The chemistry is alive and real on the dance floor, too.
Her reaction after scoring a 20 is enough to want to see her make it past next week.
She also says things like beast mode and there are multiple photos of her covered in blood.
All of these things are frightening.
On the dance floor, however, Paige is graceful and lovely.
Not the judges, thats for sure.
Len, Bruno, and Carrie Ann are all blown away by her lady-like spins and elegant lines.
Shes a natural, and no one, including Paige, was expecting that.
I know him from Flutie Flakes.
Not surprisingly, as an athlete, Doug is extra hard on himself in rehearsals.
The judges commend his commitment to the dance and were happy to see him work through his stumbles.
Oh, Karina, you were missed.
The second best thing is that we get Keo in aFull Houseparody right out of the gate.
It was long-lost pro Edyta Sliwinska!
Not inside, unfortunately, were any dance moves whatsoever.
Geraldo admits to being the only Puerto Rican in America who cant dance, and he isnt exaggerating.
His cha cha was painful to watch.
Easier said then done, Lenny!
the current front-runner for the Republican Presidential nomination.
Let us never speak of it again, okay?
And, oh yeah, her dance skills.
The gal oozes elegance on the dance floor.
Could Marla be this seasons dark horse?
Wanya Morris and Lindsay Arnold
Cha Cha|Motownphilly by Boyz II Men
Full disclosure: Im a Philly girl.
I was prone to love Wanya on principal alone.
Then he went and immediately gave us some harmonizing time with Boyz II Men.
Add on that his performance incorporated cheesesteaks.
Wanya also calls Lindsay his Z-Pak because she makes him better.
Whats not to love?
Ginger Zee and Valentin Chmerkovskiy
Jive|Move fromDreamgirls
Bless you, Ginger Zee.
Within moments of meeting Val, she demands to see his abs.
Shes spunky, bright, and will force Val to hold a baby at some point in this competition.
She is a great gift to the ballroom.
Shes also a great dancer!
Carrie Ann compares her to Bindi, and she isnt wrong.
NEXT: California, here we come
Mischa Barton and Artem Chigvintsev
Tango|In the Night by The Weeknd
Hey!
Its the scary poison soup girl fromThe Sixth Sense.
Apparently, she was also in some show calledThe O.C.Just kidding, you guys: MARISSA COOPER LIVES.
It seems as though everyone wants Mischa to have a great time on the show except Mischa.
Lighten up girl, its just dancing!
Carrie Ann and Bruno encourage Mischa to keep on keepin on.
She has the potential, but she seriously needs to work on her core.
And maybe perk up a bit.
Len gives the grumpy critique weve all been waiting for and calls her out for just walking around.
So here we are.
Turns out, he has nothing to worry about.
That was a phenomenal first week cha cha regardless of if he can hear the music or not.
All three judges, the entire audience, every human with eyes, was blown away.
Serious question: Did someone steal Lens paddles marked eight through 10?
Does he know there are higher scores than a seven?
Antonio Brown and Sharna Burgess
Quickstep|Bad Man by Pitbull
Admittedly, Im not much of a football fan.
His charm is infectious, and he brings all of it to his quickstep.
Its fast and fun, and Antonio knows how to work it.
She loves the wildness and energy.
Shes his Barbie drill sergeant, and the dynamic serves them well in competition.
Now that he has one dance down, hopefully hell loosen up a little more.
Also, how long until we get Von Miller and some chickens on the dance floor?
America needs this, Witney.
There you have it, ballroom babes.
Week one ends with a three-way tie at the top of the leader board, which is exciting.
Its always more fun when there isnt a runaway favorite to win.
What did you guys think?
Were you as pleased as I was with the potential for greatness in season 22?
Can we all agree that we need more of Keo in footie-pajamas?
