I have a bone to pick with Andrew Lloyd Webber aboutCats.

Was there ever a cat so clever…).

Will anything short of the Its a Small World theme song banish these insistent melodies from my brain?

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Credit: Matthew Murphy

(Catsnow ranks at No.

Eliot wrote to his godchildren (published in 1939 asOld Possums Book of Practical Cats).

And its practically plot-free.

The only mystery which cat will go to the Heaviside Layer to start a new life?

could be solved by any viewer in a booster seat before intermission.

John Napier has re-created his junkyard set and aerobicize-ready costumes (leg warmer alert!).

As for U.K.X Factorwinner and Bleeding Love singer Lewis, she sounds spectacular on Memory.

If you knowCats, this is essentially theCatsyou know and either love or hate.

If you dont knowCats, prepare for a trip back to the 80s.

And steel yourself for some overly nostalgic audience members.