‘Black-ish’ gets religulous.
Church or…brunch?
These are the choices the Johnsons are confronted with in tonights episode.
Credit: Kelsey McNeal/ABC
This leads to all sorts of unexpected results: parties, margaritas, and (gulp) church.
Harmless enough, right?
In your face (slash forehead), Ash Wednesday!
Besides, it was those very kids who begged the parents to get their yes-game on.
When their parents give them the news, 75 percent of them are utterly devastated.
Their feelings can be best summed up by Zoeys protest cry: We just went six months ago!
Im growing like a weed.
Also: Grandma Ruby has an opinion, too!
Shes skeptical of all this.
Now white folks call, and here you come!
This is just too much for Ruby.
The twins each interpret this prophetic omen differently.
She starts eating all the cupcakes.
The band is wearing fashion hats!
And playing How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You)!
And the reverend speaks in relatable everyday metaphors!
Needless to say, Dre and Bow are smitten.
The daughters are less thrilled, but theyre surviving.
This could be our spot!
The rev got us out in time to beat the Methodists to brunch?!
The Coopers love it all, too and invite the Johnsons back for a second week.
Until Dre gets back to the writers room the ad agency where he works.
Youre not getting churchy on me, are you?
asks his boss Mr. Stevens.
He views church-going as a slippery slope, where one-too-many visits can quickly translate into a destructive habit.
The next thing you know, youve bought her an apartment on the Wilshire Corridor.
Things continue trending downward on the familys second Sunday.
The band is wearing…fashion hats.
And playing…How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You).
And the reverend…speaks in relatable everyday metaphors.
Its like the second night in Vegas, Dre determines.
Weve got to go now.
NEXT: Junior joins the band
But theres a twist: Junior has joined the band onstage.
Hes gone rogue, and now the whole family is stuck in this vanilla house of worship.
Christians: literally too nice!
So, as is the tradition of the episode, the Johnsons say yes.
Black Jesus doesnt see color, she explains.
Just so long as he pretends to have been in the military fighting the Taliban for the last however-many-years.
The whole charade backfires when it turns out that the Coopers seem to love it.
Is anybody okay at this church?!
Overall, the whole shebang lasts some four hours and 57 minutes (but whos counting).
In other words the Johnsons have successfully escaped church duty!
After sleeping in the next Sunday, they realize they might have caught the church bug.
Its just such a nice feeling, being connected to something bigger than yourself, Bow says.
They agree to not give it up.
It took us three months to find the right mattress, Bow continues.
Its okay if it takes more than a minute to find the right church.
Meanwhile, Ruby baptizes the twins in the swimming pool.
Bow:Correction: She believed in many goddess and the healing power of tree nuts.
Ruby:Oh, really are you the expert?
Bow:It was just once…
I think youre being a little dramatic.
Ruby [dramatically]:I have never been dramatic a day in my life.
Diane:If were damned if do and damned if we dont, I say we do.
Jack:I say we dont!
Put your helmet on!
Why are you tempting fate?
We live in earthquake country!
Reverend:Uh, I was telling people where the bathrooms are.
Zoey:Do Presbyterians not believe in cell service?
Jack:God is everywhere!
Nobody goes to those.
Bow:Is it crazy that this is one of the best Sundays Ive had in a while?
I mean, ever since Jack made me give up those WNBA tickets.
Dre:With two kids, I couldve kept that PT Cruiser.
Bow:Thats a good argument for four kids.
Mr. Stevens:Whoa, whoa stop being so self-hating.
Lucy:Its okay… We call ourselves Jews.
Mr. Stevens:Not in this office, you dont, little lady!
Lucy:As a practicing Jew…
Mr. Stevens:You take your hateful mouth to HR right now!
Mr. Cooper:Wow…six songs!
Bow:Each one more uplifting than the last.
Diane:My hands are raw!
