Dre and Junior get new haircuts but whose is better?
Ah, it took a little longer than expected, butBlack-ishfinally got to it tonight: the hair episode.
Hair helped put black people on the map.
Credit: Kelsey McNeal/ABC
He cites Madam C.J.
Walker, who he tells us became the first black millionaire thanks to her beauty-product innovation.
But good hair doesnt just happen to you.
It all goes down at the barbershop, that all-important community cornerstone filled with zany characters.
We get aGoodfellas-esque introduction to the guys populating Dres favorite shop.
Theres conspiracy-loving Ta-Ta, list-loving Scootie, the fist-fight-loving Mike.
Not so fast, though.
Theres a new guy on the scene, and his name is Smoke.
Hes got some baby-mama drama with his girl LaTonka, but theyre working on it.
But the real headline is that hes successfully poaches Junior from the Dres camp.
His son is violating the most sacred of codes.
When Dre and Junior return home, theres a noticeable shift in the power dynamics.
Thanks to his trendy new look, Junior gets a grand reception.
Dres weirdly angular new hairstyle, on the other hand, receives a much cooler reception.
He looks like some sort of crooked simpleton, and his family rightly treats him as such.
This is bad news for Bow, who doesnt need any added drama in her life right now.
Grandma Ruby smells a chance to play her favorite game: trolling Bow.
Shes concerned that having to look elegant will expose just how inelegant the family is.
She plants herself firmly in favor of tacky costumes, while Zoey joins Team Elegance.
The majority of his white co-workers cant relate, though they confess to not even knowing how his hairworks.
I always thought it was just a textured tattoo, says one.
I didnt think it even grew, claims another.
As Dre informs them, there are rules in place to protect such rash decisions.
And to prove his point, he marches back to his barber for a re-do.
In a strange turn events, his hairline goes significantly backward.
His head suddenly has way too much forehead for a man not named LeBron James.
Bow is equally dyspeptic about it, demanding that he fix the situation before the family photo.
She wants to go fullEmpire.
Thats right, the theme went from cookie to Cookie.
Dre is Lucious Lyon, a dreamer with voice and hair that you would do jail time for.
She gets the white girl, Rhonda.
Her youngest daughter in fishnets!
Her oldest in a leopard-print coat!
Her son holding a cane!
And…a stuffed lion?
Enough is enough: Christmas is not about being a bad bitch!
This means no waiting, no clowning, no play-fighting that turns into real-fighting that turns into jail time.
Plus, 100 percent lessPootie Tang.
Junior revolts and heads straight back into Smokes chair (what is this familys haircut budget?)
expecting once again to out-do his pops.
Instead, things go awry when Smoke cuts his hair while in a bad mood.
But then, just in time for the end of the episode, the Big Lesson dawns on Dre.
It was a Good Thing that his son connected with his own barber!
The barbershop isnt about getting your hair shortened, you see.
Its about becoming a man.
After all, its whats best for his boy.
Just not his hair.
Best Lines:
Junior:George R.R.
Martin is at the Waldenbooks right now.
And I heard if you give him $20, hell tell you if Tyrion becomes king.
Bow:Is the flour working?
Diane:If youre going for Christmas in Medellin.
Bow:Wha how do you even…
Bow:Im going to lose the deposit for the penguin wrangler.
Diane:I cant do elegance!
Elegance is going to expose us for who we really are.
Jack:But I dont like who I really am!
Dre:Im so upset with my son that I cant even focus right now.
Mr. Stevens:Oh, Ive been through this before!
Look, youve got to get him to Dubai.
Its the land of no laws, no extraditions, and the shopping mall there is amazing.
Theres a ski lift inside that bad boy!
Co-worker:This is not a haircut, this is the starting five for the San Antonio Spurs!
Mr. Stevens:Yes, but they are so fundamentally sound.
Dre:Is this your phone?
I thought it was my phone…
Junior:With theGandalfcase?
Bow:So youre just going to have me on the floor?
Ruby:You see?
Thats such a Ronda way of looking at things.
Junior:Now is Who dis with onsor two?
Bow:Jack,nogansta-leaning in this house!
Bow:Christmas is not about being a bad bitch!
Ruby:Neither is that sweater.
Junior:Smoke is barber until he dies…or LaTonka kills him.
Dre:Give me the Dennis Haysbert.
