When Amber Rose visits, something’s gotta give.
So you should fire your cable guide, because its not being honest with you.
The episode is really about searching.
Credit: John Fleenor/ABC
Where is Mr. Johnson going, you ask?
As usual, the trouble begins at Dres work.
What if she turns into a snob?
In summation: Yale and Harvard.
Meanwhile, Charlies got less academic problems on his hands.
Her name is Dominique.
Well hear more from her later, but just remember: Dominique is coming.
At 14(?!
), he believes the job should be his.
How low does she think her older brother ranks on the babysitter power list?
Lets just get Justin Bieber, she suggests.
In fact, she doesnt need to go to ANY school that requires air travel!
They get there in Zoeys new Tesla!
Cut to Dre on a plane (and a pharmacys worth of drugs).
Hes pretty loopy, to say the least, and it turns out he forgot to call the babysitter.
So he calls the next worst thing Charlie to fix the situation.
And so Charlie takes it upon himself to watch the Johnson kids.
But theres a problem: He suspects Diane is a witch.
Also, theres another problem: Dominique!
That would surely provide foundation of strong, lasting relationship.
Hes freezing in this sweater weather!
Luckily, Bow is able to dispatch Dre toward a nearby calzone station (college!
), so now shes able to embarrass Zoey all by herself.
Cringeworthy try-hard millennial hashtags that makes Zoey second-guess everything her mother has said so far!
Back at the Nancy Meyers movie that wasnt:Somethings Gotta Charlie.
Hes even able to scrounge up some suspect French.
Hes simply too insecure to go the full Diane Keaton, and he starts to fret.
Junior, ever the Meyers devotee, confers with Charlie privately and instructs him to be simply himself.
Unfortunately, Dominique is not into himself: Faced with the disappointing truth, she runs off.
Charlie becomes an emotional wreck and locks himself in the bathroom.
Now its the kids who are babysittinghim.
He needs to be saved…but by whom?
It really is like a scene from a Nancy Meyers movie,if Nancy Meyers movies had black characters.
Thousands of miles away, another problem needs solving.
Bow returns to the dorm without Zoey.
She feels as dejected and rejected as ol Charlie.
I made her hate Brown, she says of Zoey.
Is Bow just too much of a dork?
Would Zoey following in her moms footsteps make Bow less of an nerdy outsider in her own family?
These are the issues on her mind.
So, where will Zoey decide to continue her education?
And what will happen to Charlie and Dominique, the Diane Keaton and Jack Nicholson of our worst nightmares?
BEST LINES:
Dre:I fly with the help of some pharmaceutical courage.
Mr. Stevens:Well, thats between you and your colon.
Charlie:Thats a lot of salmon leftover!
I made it lookeasywhen I was at Harvard.
But its harder when youre not at Harvard where I was…
I went to Harvard.
Charlie:My phone game isDolemite, but my in-person game is Sinbad.
Charlie:Ill just have to catch up with her in 2035.
By then well all be computers and thats when Ill make my move.
Diane:How do I put this gently… Youre a joke of a man.
Junior:Wow, how would you put itnotgently?
Jack:Same way, but with a kick to the balls.
Charlie:Between you and me, is your sister a witch?
Diane:I heard that.
Charlie:That was just a test.
Ive been through this before with witches.
Diane:Look at them.
Two jokes of men, bonding.
Junior:Is there one without the other?
Charlie:There is not continue.
Junior:Remember Nancy Meyers rule No.
Charlie:Talk about your kitchen renovations a lot.
Start throwing around phrases like been emailing my architect and farmhouse sink.
Junior:Thats brilliant…then youre off to Catalina!
Oh my god, hes home alone!
I should Uber him some wings.
Dominique:I cant believe you.
This is Cinnabon baby all over again!
