If you’re not going to audition in a bedazzled thong and headdress, then why bother?
Honestly,American Idol, stop playing with my heart.
This is episode three, and we have yetanotherspecialized opening.
Credit: Craig Blankenhorn/Fox
Does anything stay the same?
When this show started, kids, iPods were bigger than a shoebox.
Ryan Seacrest was 4-years-old.
And we had the decency to choose one opening and run with it.
But shows change, and people always leave.
Everyone except forIdolfavorite and politician, Clay Aiken, that is.
Im still sorry (2004) that you lost, champ.
But were in Philly and its time to start.
Of course you do because she made that song a 21st centuryIdolcrown jewel.
I hope you guys had frozen pizza, too.
Alas, hes not, but I bet he pulls some serious game at the Dollar Store.
Anyway, the judges think hes fun, but he gets three thumbs down.
I have frozen pizza.
But thenIsaac Cole, 15, rolls up as Phillys resident country boy.
He four-wheels and loves Keith Urban, which is super convenient because hes a judge here!
My opinion is more of the latter.
He goes through to Hollywood.
Shes seasoned at this point, draped in at least two different shades of blue tonight.
Honestly, Jennifer is next level.
She works at a breakfast restaurant and chooses Lips Are Movin.
No offense to Meghan Trainor, but Sara is way more endearing and sings it just as well.
The judges like her, but they dont love her.
Not to be melodramatic, but it trulyisan American tragedy.
After Ellis is poorJenn Blosil, 23, who might be on some serious cold medicine.
Shes from Brooklyn and chooses Radioactive.
Its raspy and folksy, and if anyone in Philadelphia deserves to go through, its Jenn.
If Jenn can find her plane, shell go to Hollywood.
Its honestly a toss-up.
And thats how we move intoHarrison Cohens audition.
Hes brought his grandpa who is bullseyeing all the ladies for Harrison, who is a self-proclaimed ladies man.
He has his eyes set on Jennifer, which is unfortunate because Harrison (who is 17) isextremelyillegal.
He gets three yeses and croons his way to Hollywood.
So hes here forIdol.
I dont know whos here for me because I wasnt prepared forIdolto take such a dark turn.
He chooses Somebody Like You by our very own Keith Urban.
Post-performance, we learn that hes currently onMatlildaon Broadway.
Kind of makes me wonder why we didnt lead withthatstory.
He gets two yeses, and the guy goes to Hollywood.
And with that super somber tone, were done with Philadelphia.
Going be honest with yall wasnt my favorite.
What do you think?
Am I just unusually hard on Philly, or is there an Idol to be had here?
The auditions pick up again tomorrow, so why dont you pack your headdress and meet me there?
