Though God may not have blessed my broken road to Hollywood, he did lead me straight to you.
We open with Ryan Seacrest and Brian Dunklemans (!!!)
Shes a superfan who loves a goodearly-Taylor-Swift sparkle sundress.
Credit: Michael Becker/Fox
We see where she grew up, which is usually a sure sign that she makes it through.
I cant imagine that the first up wouldnt get a pass.
She opts for a sweet version of LeAnn Rimes Blue.
As part of the final season, previous contestants have been invited back to the auditions to screen talent.
Oh, these kids and their Snapchats and Twitters…
Linditafrom Kosovo comes next.
Ryan points out that she lost 150 pounds for this audition.
Lindita says that people would tell her that she could sing, but shes really fat.
No matter how you describe her, her performance is wonderful, but hardly polished.
The judges comment on how untamed the runs are, but its three yeses anyway.
Travis Billy Bob Evitt, 25, waltzes in while the judges are on a strange stretch break.
Hes from Florida, wears overalls, calls himself a fat John Travolta.
He also appreciates Jennifer Lopez from her fly girl days.
He choose Waylon Jennings Are You Sure Hank Done It This Way.
Billy Bob cries, cause Billy Bobs a crier, and he goes home with no ticket in hand.
NEXT: When Dr. Quinn meets funk
Lee Jean,15, is next.
He talks about the death of his older brother.
Before he sings, Lee makes you fall in love with him.
Hes responsible and well spoken youwantLee to do well.
He sings I See Fire by Ed Sheeran.
Something vaguely bluesy happens along with something kind of singer-songwriter-y.
The performance starts strong and slowly drops off in quality.
But he gets three yeses and advances to Hollywood.
Objectively, the judges were wrong.
Subjectively, I dont care.
Denver
Just like that we move to Denver, where were joined by Taylor Hicks.
Up first isJeneve Rose Mitchell, a 15-year-old from the little known 51st state called Elk Wilderness.
She comes to her audition wielding a cello, a side braid, and a winning smile.
She chooses Chainsaw by The Band Perry.
Quinn, Medicine Womanwould have been like if it had a funk soundtrack.
The originality paid off though, and the judges give her a pass to Hollywood.
Even Taylor Hicks was jazzed.
Somewhere in the wilderness, elks are bleating so loudly in support.
It turns out that everyone who auditioned in Denver lives off the grid.
Everyone exceptSonica Vaid, 20, from the little known Marthas Vineyard.
She tackles Carrie Underwoods Look at Me, and its powerful.
Its not impossible to imagine her performing in the top 24.
The judges agree and send her through to Hollywood.
Thats like 101 percent in his mind (his logic, not mine).
Hes also brought friends along who cheer for him at random.
Unfortunately, we cant all have what we want.
He sings, Hello, by Lionel Richie.
He belts, Is it me youre looking for?
and I raise my Diet Coke again, turning my head, eyes closed, and say, No.
The audition is shouty with nuggets of good, surrounded by piles of not-so-much.
He gets three nos, and his friends and family cheer anyway.
Lets go Joe home!
clap clap, clap clap clap
Next up is police officer,Reanna Molinaro, 23.
Harry asks her to handcuff him, and sheswayinto it.
This is a family show, but the nuances are just filthy.
She chooses Leavin on Your Mind by Patsy Cline.
The choice is super ambitious because Patsy is a legend.
It wasnt great, but it was simply good.
She gets three yeses and then uncuffs our boy and sets him back into the Denver wilderness.
Its a nice reminder thatIdolis a place where it’s possible for you to rise above and move mountains.
Shes just looking for someone to listen to her talk about herself.
She dives into a song, which is actually a yodel.
She 100 percent did not sing.
Arguably, she didnt yodel either.
She got not a single yes, and thus had to go home.
His wife is pregnant, and hes attractive in that approachable way that feels attainable, but actually isnt.
Joshua wears a vintage plaid shirt and has named his unborn daughter, Branch.
Rooting against him is literally sacrilege.
Hes a strange performer, but in an intriguing way.
Singing Black Sun by Death Cab for Cutie (high school, whats good?)
he hits crazy falsetto notes, but the performance, as a whole, feels intentionally disjointed.
But hes the nicest scary guy ever because he gets three thumbs up and calls the judges beautiful.
As Denver winds down,Shelbie Z Jamesshows up from Alabama with a country accent and a cool headband.
The best part of Shelbie is that shes sincere.
Also that shes not one of those hair stylists who does questionable things with her hair.
But mostly that shes sincere.
She skates through to the next round.
And with that, AtlantaandDenver are in the books.
From there we head to San Francisco and Little Rock.
Fill up your Diet Coke and your tear ducts were just getting started.
