A flashback to Old Hollywood, featuring Rudolph Valentino and F.W.
Will Drakes a busy man.
He cant be bothered with the little details of the Hotel Cortez.
Credit: Prashant Gupta/FX
Inside, two construction workers get attacked by ghouls.
But are they undead, viralized ghouls, or dead corridor-haunting ghouls?
The construction workers will never know unless they come back as ghosts, too.
(Hey, maybe they can get together with the Danish girls!)
Meanwhile, Detective John Lowe has finally taken steps to heal himself.
Hes checking in to a hospital.
Well, hes had some professional setbacks, some personal setbacks.
Lowes soon-to-be-ex-wife is proud of him for taking ownership of his mental health.
The jokes on her, though!
No doubt hes got one heck of a plan in place.
That can wait, though.
Back at the Cortez, Gaga and Kathy Bates find the dead construction workers.
This is the scene where Bates says, quote, I couldnt pick my butthole out of a lineup.
Paulson would kill that line.
Wittrock would kill that line.
Anyhow, this leads to a lengthy flashback: The Origin of the Countess.
She played Slave Girl, or perhaps Harem Concubine.
In his short life and long death, Valentino was dogged by rumors of homosexuality.
OnAmerican Horror Story, no one is so easily defined.
In real life, Valentino died young and Rambova died in her mid-60s in Pasadena.
OnAmerican Horror Story, Valentino faked his death after a chance meeting with German director F.W.
See, Murnau madeNosferatu, one of the great works of horror cinema.
Murnau passes the virus to Valentino; Valentino passes it to Natacha; and they pass it to Gaga.
Just one problem: By the time they reappear, Gaga has been married.
And what a husband shes found: James Patrick March, the haunting mascot of our haunted hotel.
Before March killed himself and his beloved maid, he married Gaga.
NEXT: Detective Lowe puts his plan in place
Well, not forever.
They feed upon Marcy, the continuity-stitching realtor fromMurder House.
Poor Marcy: I assumed shed be an undying mascot forAmerican Horror Story.
But maybe her spirit will haunt future editions.
(If they sent the Hotel Cortez into space, would the ghosts follow?)
The last time we see them, theyre leaving the Hotel.
Will Gaga attempt to find them?
Or is there some darker plot in place?
There are already a plague of vampire children loose on the streets of Los Angeles.
What happens when a faded Hollywood star hits the streets looking for a second chance?
At the hospital, Detective Lowe puts his devious plan in place.
Detective Lowes Plan for Sneaking Into the Locked Part of the Hospital:
PART ONE:Fake stomach pain.
PART TWO:Knock out the security guard.
The plan cant fail!
Inside the lockdown, he finds a little girl named Wren.
She spins a strange, unsettling story.
She was there, for all the murders; she killed the security guard in the Church.
She was rescued by Gaga, another blond child, granted eternal freedom and eternal servitude.
So, who is the killer?
When they escape, she tells John that they need to go back to the Hotel Cortez.
Will you kill him?
If I have to, says John.
I really like you, Wren tells him, I hate to see it end.
Then she says goodbye and runs into traffic.
So, wait, hold on a second: Is John the Ten Commandments Killer?
Also, what other male character could it be, at this point?
Ghosts like James Patrick March are trapped in the Cortez.
Characters like Donovan and Will Drake are way off in a different narrative stratosphere.
But Wes Bentley has taken to playing John as such a maniac.
And we know that John has a tendency to make bad blackout decisions when hes had a few drinks.
What do you think, fellow viewers: Is John Lowe investigating himself?
Deep down, arent we all?
