John tries to sleep with Aileen Wuornos.
Richard Ramirez walks into the Hotel Cortez.
Richard Ramirez was no joke, though: Mass murderer, satanist.
Credit: Suzanne Tenner/FX
Hes checking in for Devils Night.
And theres our pal James Patrick March, welcoming his old pal with a gift of fresh victims.
The husband and wife are from Arizona; the Marriott was full.
(Sorry:Werefrom Arizona.)
Detective Lowe doesnt hear the Arizona wifes deathscreams.
Hes got his own problems.
His wifes talking divorce.
Things are a little bit weird right now, arent they?
(My third most favorite thing Wes Bentley says in tonights episode!)
Then he notices the blood pouring from the ceiling all over his Carrie Mathison wallpaper.
Upstairs, he meets Hazel the Ghostmaid.
Turns out Hazel has a flashback origin story.
His killer took him to Wineville, where he kept all his captives in the chicken coop.
Alex kidnaps her own kid, bringing little Holden back home.
She takes his temperature: 75.7 degrees.
Holden brings Alex back to the hotel, so she can meet his new mommy: Lady Gaga.
Gaga knows all about Alex: Knows about her devotion to Holden and Holdens devotion to Alex.
(Apparently, there is still some notion of love buried deep under Alexs Vulcanized exterior.)
That little boy became a Little Monster a phrase that looms large over the Gaga legend.
Its hard to remember precisely when Gaga gave her fanbase a catchy moniker.
Before she got famous, Gaga wrote a song called Ugly Sexy, or possibly Sexy Ugly.
I think Im changing what people think is sexy.
One of the interesting things aboutHotelis how its literalized Gagas Little Monsters with the little platinum-blonde vampire kids.
They are beings of pure consumption: When they arent playing videogames, theyre drinking blood.
(Remember: The Little Monsters might drink blood, but Gaga drinkstheirblood.)
The only way Alex can join Holden is to join him.
Youll be working for me.
(Ramona Royale found that out the hard way last week.)
Alex refuses, runs away.
NEXT: Sweet Jane
Downstairs at the bar, Detective Lowe decides that he could really use a drink.
Poor Bentley really has the toughest role of the season.
Hes become an archetype that is key toAmerican Horror Storylore: The McDermott.
But his vision is too blinded, by martinis and by McDermottude.
(The best thing about ratings success: Papa Landgraf ups the soundtrack allowance.)
Detective Lowe makes a decision.
He wants to have sex with Aileen Wuornos.
Betchathatwont happen onEmpireanytime soon!
On the way to Detective Lowes room, Aileen bops him on the head.
When Lowe wakes up, hes being held captive.
He manages to escape and knocks Aileen out, threatening police.
Donning the tuxedo that was sent special to his room, Lowe walks into a very strange dinner party.
Theres James Patrick March, and Aileen, Richard, and John Wayne Gacy, and Jeffrey Dahmer.
In walks the Zodiac, overdressed as always, who sits down across from Gacy.
(ASIDE:Gacy was played by John Carroll Lynch.
In the movieZodiac, John Carroll Lynch played a real-life figure who may haveactuallybeen the Zodiac.
OnFreak Show, John Carroll Lynch played Twisty, the clown serial killer.
(If the Velvet Underground didnt exist, Ryan Murphy would make a show calledVelvet Underground.
Dont tempt him!)
Johns clearly not yet our kind, says James Patrick March.
Was this whole dinner some kind of initiation?
Is this season all about the corruption of John?
Is Detective Lowe the hero who will triumph over these forces?
Are they battling for his soul?
Is Liz Taylor the risen Jesus?
IsEmma Roberts playing Hillary Clinton?
Sally has seemed like a demonic bad-influence force.
But she is genuinely tender with John when he wakes up from his ghostly nightmare.
You have to trust me, she says.
Or is she genuine?
Does she want John dead: A kindly man to stay with her forever?
Alex returns to Gagas penthouse.
Of course she does: She cant live without the love of her life.
Lady Gaga won Best New Artist that year, and accepted the award dressed in all red.
See here:
Its for God, and for the gays, she declared.
A fine sentiment and unmistakably political, less than one year after Prop 8.
That was Gaga at her most sincere.
But the best Gaga moment of the night came earlier, when she performed Paparazzi.
(She usesstage blood.)
But this gripe misses the point.
All performances are inauthentic to some extent: Thats the difference between performance and living.
Unless you think life is just a performance, in which case radical inauthenticity is its own truth.
(My fourth most favorite Wes Bentley line of the night: Is anything real?.)
Of course, so much of Gagas initial presentation circulated around the idea of Death and Stardom.
She loves Andy Warhol, who loved Elvis and Marilyn Monroe.
Impossible to say, fortunately: She lives still.
On this season ofAmerican Horror Story, she has lived a hundred years, could live forever.
Is that a good thing?
By the end of the episode, shes brought Alex into the terrible grace of her immortal life.
The true nightmare begins when you no longer fear death.
