A look back at the beloved children’s picture book that came into our lives 30 years ago.
I loathe the word, possibly out of some anti-label revolt stemming from the fact that I am one.
The critiques aren’t wrong.
We expect instant gratification and are pretty furious when we don’t get it.
We didn’t ask for Napster but drank its sweet file-sharing download nectar.
(If you give us an Apple Pencil, we demand an Apple Eraser!)
We’re quick to speculate wildly beyond tomorrow.
It’s all my way of saying that I blame the mouse.
And looking back 30 years later, that connection now means something far different.
When you give him the milk, hell probably ask you for a straw.
When hes finished, hell ask you for a napkin.
It’s all sound logiccookie to milk, milk to straw, straw to napkin.
He’s even polite about it all.
Then hell want to look in a mirror to check that he doesnt have a milk mustache.
And then, vanity strikes.
When he looks in the mirror, he might notice his hair needs a trim.
So hell probably ask for a pair of nail scissors.
Did he, like us, grow up believing he had to compare himself to other mice?
Was he faced with a world teeming with unrealistic mice standards?
He is both the cause ofandthe solution to his distress.
When hes finished giving himself a trim, hell want a broom to sweep it up.
He might get carried away and sweep every room in the house.
He may even end up washing the floors as well!
Dare to say no to a child of the ’80s!
Coddled by years of hard-working parents telling us we can do anything, be anything, accomplish anything.
Sure, a little.
When hes done, hell probably want to take a nap.
Yes, this is right.
Youll have to fix up a little box for him with a blanket and a pillow.
Hell crawl in, make himself comfortable and fluff the pillow a few times.
Hell probably ask you to read him a story.
Again, where’s the lie?
When he looks at the pictures, hell get so excited hell want to draw one of his own.
Then there’s the piece de resistance.
“He’ll get so excited, he’ll want to draw one of his own.”
For all our flaws, millennials are activists, artists, engineers, start-up inventors, content creators.
“So excited, he’ll want to draw one of his own.”
We’re just so excited, we want to draw our own pictures.
Hell ask for paper and crayons.
Hell draw a picture.
When the picture is finished, hell want to sign his name with a pen.
Then hell want to hang his picture on your refrigerator.
Which means hell need Scotch tape.
Hell hang up his drawing and stand back to look at it.
Aaaand there’s your brutal reminder how much we love a selfie.
It’s right here, clear as day, magnetic as fridge.
Looking at the refrigerator will remind him that hes thirsty.
So… hell ask for a glass of milk.
We want what we want.
That’s an obnoxious and hardly true generalization.
But what I do think is that every generation wants and expects something more.
Maybe, like the mouse, millennials looktwosteps ahead.
Maybe that’s our big misstep, the thing that drives critics and pundits wild.
Is that so wrong?
Maybe now, it does.
I’d gladly take “never satisfied” as a defining trait of my generation.
I wish I could even be happy with just a cookie.
Blame it on that damn mouse.
